The Action Mutant…
doesn't give a flying...guillotine.
The Flying Guillotine
review by Joe Burrows
The Plot, as it was:
Kuan Tai Chen stars as Ma Teng, a soldier in Emperor Yung Cheng's (Yang Chiang) army. The Emperor has commissioned for a new weapon to be made: a flying helmet attached to a chain that can take off a person's head from a hundred yards! Once the implement is made, Cheng has those he considers to be traitors (i.e. everyone) assassinated with it at his whim. All of this causes Ma Teng to desert the Emperor and live out his life with street performer Yu Ping (Wu Chi Liu) and start a family. This further pisses off Cheng, who sends out those from his fighting force to capture him...head optional.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Finality. This is what I believe intrigues one to watch something like The Flying Guillotine. Ok, so its probably seeing a cool ass weapon rarely seen in cinema. I mean, this thing had to be the iPhone of its time (and who said ol' TAM couldn't make a topical reference in 2012, eh?)! Actually, the weapon itself is largely a fabrication because those that saw it in action didn't live to tell about it! In any respect, those expecting all kinds of gore, guts & mayhem from TFG maybe be disappointed for the most part. Sure, its there but writer Kuang Ni adds in stuff like a story and characters with reasoning first. Hell, it takes about 25 minutes for the apparatus to catch its first victim! But seeing the development and training behind the implement of destruction makes it all the worth while when it is finally brought about. The subplot involving Ma Teng & Yu Ping is kinda rushed along, like it would be in an American film, where they meet and five minutes later, they have a kid and are living on a farm. However, their relationship does provide an emotional center to the film and doesn't make it something about revenge or reclaiming one's honor for once. Protecting one's self and their family is something everyone can get behind and its a crowd pleaser once the enemy tastes the business end of the flying helmet of doom. The process of seeing the guillotine in action does look cheap (dig day changing to night, man!) but you had to figure there would be some camp in this candy and it does make for some admittedly hilarious demises. Whereas the later Master of the Flying Guillotine is more well known and may be the "cooler" choice, this one is the entry that solidified it and made that one possible. It's not perfect (the fighting isn't all that great or memorable and some time could have been shaved off in determining what we already knew: the Emperor is a paranoid douche) but all of the classical elements are there for a fun "Good v. Evil" encounter and establishing a grand tradition; the tradition of losing one's head to an oversized beekeeper's helmet, surrounded by razors. Good times.
Body Count/Violence: 25 (plus a dog and a chicken). Nearly 3/4 of the departed are done in by the titular weapon, which occasionally leaves gory aftereffects (bloody stumps, limbs quivering, etc.). Others are slashed with swords or hit with the outward guillotine blades.
Sexuality/Nudity: A brief tit shot near the beginning and that's the end of that.
Language/Dialogue: Nothing really, other than "Goddamn".
How bad was it?:
Though little seen, The Flying Guillotine does have a fair, if not spectacular track record with critics of the genre. Though looked at favorably for the most part, most say that the formula was improved upon in the later Guillotine sagas.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Produced by Shaw Brothers, The Flying Guillotine was released in Hong Kong on 2/18/75. No box office or budget figures are known but it did produce a sequel (Palace Carnage in 1978) and the more well known Jimmy Wang Yu vehicle Master of the Flying Guillotine in 1976. TFG was released in America in 1981 by World Northal, a steady purveyor of B-Movies for much of the 1980s.
Film: ***/*****
Entertainment value: ***1/2/*****
Copyright 2012 The Action Mutant.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Saturday, March 17, 2012
The Iron Man (1973)
The Action Mutant…
has a few prosthetics...that he doesn't care to mention.
The Iron Man (1973)
review by Joe Burrows
The Plot, as it was:
Jimmy Wang Yu (Master of the Flying Guillotine) is Chin, a man out for revenge (cue ominous music). When he was little, a treacherous Japanese crime lord named Fang Woo (Lung Fei) murdered his parents and sliced off his hand with a sword. Armed with a wooden hand, Chin the "Iron Man" goes on to kill all of Feng's associates while trying to stop Feng and an arranged marriage set up by a drunken former landowner who needs to pay off his gambling debts.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Though set in modern times (well, the 70s at that time), The Iron Man (or Tough Guy, as I viewed it as) is a variation on the same revenge tome put forth by Asian film companies around this time. Nothing new is really put forth from this one, even down to Wang Yu's handicap as he made a name for himself with The One Armed Swordsman films. It also doesn't help that the dubbing is worse than usual, with the sound being a second or two off from the action. This leads to the usual unintentional hilarity that comes about with these pics but nothing more that is interesting. The fights are passable and get better as the film goes along but that (and a bit more nudity than usual) may not be enough to recommend a viewing here, as it seems long even at 87 minutes. As you can tell, there was barely enough to get a review here so that should tell you something.
Body Count/Violence: 15. For a guy with lots of revenging to do, the Iron Man kicks and chops people around mostly. The occasional death blow (punch to heart, twitch, die, repeat) is administered, along with shooting, stabbing, slicing and poison dart blowing.
Sexuality/Nudity: A few topless posters decorate a mobster's office. A few sexual scenes with some bare breasts flashed and underwear clad beauties are in there as well.
Language/Dialogue: Would it be a Kung Fu film without the word "bastard" in it?
How bad was it?:
Here's the damn thing about it: there are none! Notta one I could find. Guess you either take my word for it or waste 87 minutes like I did.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Produced by Ronghua Film Company and Lee Ming Film Company and released in Hong Kong on 5/23/73, there are no money figures for The Iron Man. You can catch it on freemoviescinema.com here:
http://www.freemoviescine.com/movies/62-administrator/video/456-Tough+Guy+%281974%29.html
Film: *1/2/*****
Entertainment value: **1/2/*****
Copyright 2012 The Action Mutant.
has a few prosthetics...that he doesn't care to mention.
The Iron Man (1973)
review by Joe Burrows
The Plot, as it was:
Jimmy Wang Yu (Master of the Flying Guillotine) is Chin, a man out for revenge (cue ominous music). When he was little, a treacherous Japanese crime lord named Fang Woo (Lung Fei) murdered his parents and sliced off his hand with a sword. Armed with a wooden hand, Chin the "Iron Man" goes on to kill all of Feng's associates while trying to stop Feng and an arranged marriage set up by a drunken former landowner who needs to pay off his gambling debts.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Though set in modern times (well, the 70s at that time), The Iron Man (or Tough Guy, as I viewed it as) is a variation on the same revenge tome put forth by Asian film companies around this time. Nothing new is really put forth from this one, even down to Wang Yu's handicap as he made a name for himself with The One Armed Swordsman films. It also doesn't help that the dubbing is worse than usual, with the sound being a second or two off from the action. This leads to the usual unintentional hilarity that comes about with these pics but nothing more that is interesting. The fights are passable and get better as the film goes along but that (and a bit more nudity than usual) may not be enough to recommend a viewing here, as it seems long even at 87 minutes. As you can tell, there was barely enough to get a review here so that should tell you something.
Body Count/Violence: 15. For a guy with lots of revenging to do, the Iron Man kicks and chops people around mostly. The occasional death blow (punch to heart, twitch, die, repeat) is administered, along with shooting, stabbing, slicing and poison dart blowing.
Sexuality/Nudity: A few topless posters decorate a mobster's office. A few sexual scenes with some bare breasts flashed and underwear clad beauties are in there as well.
Language/Dialogue: Would it be a Kung Fu film without the word "bastard" in it?
How bad was it?:
Here's the damn thing about it: there are none! Notta one I could find. Guess you either take my word for it or waste 87 minutes like I did.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Produced by Ronghua Film Company and Lee Ming Film Company and released in Hong Kong on 5/23/73, there are no money figures for The Iron Man. You can catch it on freemoviescinema.com here:
http://www.freemoviescine.com/movies/62-administrator/video/456-Tough+Guy+%281974%29.html
Film: *1/2/*****
Entertainment value: **1/2/*****
Copyright 2012 The Action Mutant.
Code Name Zebra
The Action Mutant…
's code name is "Art Vandelay".
Code Name Zebra
review by Joe Burrows
The Plot, as it was:
Glenn Wilder plays a scarred Vietnam vet that heads a group of former soldiers on a different type of mission. They concoct heists of the local mob by disguising themselves as African Americans and escaping elaborate situations, all the while knowing they won't be questioned. Naturally, the Mafioso blame the black drug dealers and the crooked Sgt. Stangman (Stafford Morgan) amongst them so an all out gang war breaks out while the Zebra gang gears up for one last job.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Interesting gimmick aside (Racist.Clever...cute, but racist), Code Name Zebra plays out as your standard 70s crime thriller that's low on frills and even lower on budget. Granted, the filmmakers make the most of their budget with some nice action pieces and ostentatious slow motion shots. A veteran stuntman, Wilder does fine in the lead, complete with charred face makeup & voice box device (which makes him sound like pro wrestling legend Harley Race). The makeup in question may be the most believable on him, as suspending the disbelief of the others being black is absurd at best (watch for the scene where one guy literally has the black beaten from him). The "white as black" angle (get it? Zebra! Huzzah!) doesn't take away from the fact that the story is the standard mix of double crosses, car chases and wooden dialogue. The Zebra gang can't really be called the "heroes" of the story either, if you need a hero that is. They just rip off one unwitting side and pit them against the other, which makes for a rather mechanical and unfulfilling premise. The only thing that saves the flick from being totally routine is the twist ending. I don't know if it really made sense or what but it does qualify as the most memorable thing in Code Name Zebra.
Body Count/Violence: 49. For a late 70s actioner, CNZ is fairly kill happy. Lots of gunplay results in the majority of corpses with occasional blood splatter. Stabbing, beating, electrocution, car crashing and impaling are also on the menu. This flick also reminds you to NEVER turn down a shoe shine.
Sexuality/Nudity: None.
Language/Dialogue: A few mild expletives but nothing memorably potent.
How bad was it?:
It's a mess trying to find a solid review for this, as its usually confused with a 1987 low budget action thriller named Code Name: Zebra. Reviews & comments for that film are peppered throughout this CNZ's page and vice versa, so be forewarned if you want to do some reading. The few lines I read about this film cited it as just being routine and not taking advantage of the main concept.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Filmed in late 1974 in Los Angeles by Pac West Cinema Group, Code Name Zebra didn't see the light of day until 1976. Released by Entertainment International Pictures, CNZ doesn't have any budget or box office figures to its name. You can watch it for free on public domain sites, as Amazon sells copies of the 1987 film for the most part.
Film: **/*****
Entertainment value: ***/*****
Copyright 2012 The Action Mutant.
's code name is "Art Vandelay".
Code Name Zebra
review by Joe Burrows
The Plot, as it was:
Glenn Wilder plays a scarred Vietnam vet that heads a group of former soldiers on a different type of mission. They concoct heists of the local mob by disguising themselves as African Americans and escaping elaborate situations, all the while knowing they won't be questioned. Naturally, the Mafioso blame the black drug dealers and the crooked Sgt. Stangman (Stafford Morgan) amongst them so an all out gang war breaks out while the Zebra gang gears up for one last job.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Interesting gimmick aside (Racist.Clever...cute, but racist), Code Name Zebra plays out as your standard 70s crime thriller that's low on frills and even lower on budget. Granted, the filmmakers make the most of their budget with some nice action pieces and ostentatious slow motion shots. A veteran stuntman, Wilder does fine in the lead, complete with charred face makeup & voice box device (which makes him sound like pro wrestling legend Harley Race). The makeup in question may be the most believable on him, as suspending the disbelief of the others being black is absurd at best (watch for the scene where one guy literally has the black beaten from him). The "white as black" angle (get it? Zebra! Huzzah!) doesn't take away from the fact that the story is the standard mix of double crosses, car chases and wooden dialogue. The Zebra gang can't really be called the "heroes" of the story either, if you need a hero that is. They just rip off one unwitting side and pit them against the other, which makes for a rather mechanical and unfulfilling premise. The only thing that saves the flick from being totally routine is the twist ending. I don't know if it really made sense or what but it does qualify as the most memorable thing in Code Name Zebra.
Body Count/Violence: 49. For a late 70s actioner, CNZ is fairly kill happy. Lots of gunplay results in the majority of corpses with occasional blood splatter. Stabbing, beating, electrocution, car crashing and impaling are also on the menu. This flick also reminds you to NEVER turn down a shoe shine.
Sexuality/Nudity: None.
Language/Dialogue: A few mild expletives but nothing memorably potent.
How bad was it?:
It's a mess trying to find a solid review for this, as its usually confused with a 1987 low budget action thriller named Code Name: Zebra. Reviews & comments for that film are peppered throughout this CNZ's page and vice versa, so be forewarned if you want to do some reading. The few lines I read about this film cited it as just being routine and not taking advantage of the main concept.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Filmed in late 1974 in Los Angeles by Pac West Cinema Group, Code Name Zebra didn't see the light of day until 1976. Released by Entertainment International Pictures, CNZ doesn't have any budget or box office figures to its name. You can watch it for free on public domain sites, as Amazon sells copies of the 1987 film for the most part.
Film: **/*****
Entertainment value: ***/*****
Copyright 2012 The Action Mutant.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Zombieland
The Action Mutant…
always makes sure to double tap.
Zombieland
review by Joe Burrows
The Plot, as it was:
Jessie Eisenberg (The Social Network) is Columbus (the main characters are billed after their hometowns), a chronically phobic nerd amongst the landscape of "Zombieland". A strain of Mad Cow Disease has turned the majority of people into mindless flesh eaters and Columbus (complete with rules of survival at his disposal) is one of the lucky ones. By chance, he meets Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), a slightly crazed traveler who loves his zombie killin' as much as Twinkies. They are soon befriended (then conned, befriended, then conned again) by Wichita (Emma Stone) & Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), a sister team that hustles rubes from one point to the next. Along the way, they kill zombies, meet a comedy icon...and kill more zombies. It all ends at an amusement park, by the way.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Out of all the heavy elements a movie can have, plot is not one for Zombieland. Then again, a plot might take away from what makes it so fun. This flick is nothing more than pure, escapist fun and knows it. Hell, I know people that don't go for "zombie" pics and love this one. A lot of the film gets by on the strength of the two leads and their rapport with their female counterparts. Eisenberg (what? was Michael Cera busy? I kid, really) can play this neurotic wallflower part in his sleep and Harrelson's crazy man act is in full tilt mode here. Stone & Breslin account themselves well for what could usually be thankless roles and they can attribute that to characterization. This was once a TV pilot script that was reworked into a feature film and you get the sense that all of these people were meant to be "introduced" like in a pilot so the result is more fully fleshed out characters you can root for. The other pilot elements are scattershot (the "Zombie Kill of the Week" being the most obvious) and the celebrity cameo in the middle portion (other reviews have spoiled it by now but I stay steadfast in not revealing), while providing the biggest laughs of the film, also acts as the plateau. Things become more predictable afterwards and the story fails to regain the momentum it once had. The film is also a bit uneven in the sense that the comedic elements tend to outweigh the "zombie" elements at some points, which leads to the genre purist's argument of whether this a "real" Z movie or not. If you can take some of the film's pretensions (Columbus' rules appearing on the screen at various times), you will see plentiful gore as well as a genuine streak of laughter & gleeful carnage. It's no Night of the Living Dead but if cinema has taught us anything, it's that you don't always have to reinvent the wheel to get to the fireworks fact...er, amusement park.
Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!:
- John C. Reilly (Step Brothers, State of Grace) went uncredited as the "Bathroom Zombie".
- Screenwriter Mike White (The School of Rock, Nacho Libre) is the victim in said bathroom (wow, that sounds bad without context).
Body Count/Violence: 109! Despite its goofiness, Zombieland does not skimp on the gore factor. Most of the mindless extras are blasted by shotgun fire or other automatic weaponry. When he's not gunning them down, Tallahassee does in the rest by unconventional means (baseball bat, banjo, hedge clippers, etc.). There are a few other surprises but something that isn't surprising is the zombie flesh munching & mauling, to which there is quite a bit.
Sexuality/Nudity: A topless zombie stripper (with pasties) is shown during the opening credits.
Language/Dialogue: A few F-words, other obscenities and Tallahassee crowing about wanting his "G D Twinkies!"
How bad was it?:
Rotten Tomatoes has it at 90% so its fair to say that most critics enjoyed it for the good time it was meant to be. The few negative reviews either weren't down with the genre or couldn't help but compare it to its predecessors in some way.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
At a budget of $24 million, Sony/Columbia Pictures released Zombieland on 10/2/09 to an opening weekend gross of $24.7 million. It's top spot was overtaken the next week and it steadily dropped out of the top 10 by the end of the month. The film finished with a final number of $75.6 million in America, plus another $26.8 million overseas (total = $102.4 million). All of those totals ensure a sequel, which is in development at the moment.
Film: ***1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ****1/2/*****
Copyright 2012 The Action Mutant.
always makes sure to double tap.
Zombieland
review by Joe Burrows
The Plot, as it was:
Jessie Eisenberg (The Social Network) is Columbus (the main characters are billed after their hometowns), a chronically phobic nerd amongst the landscape of "Zombieland". A strain of Mad Cow Disease has turned the majority of people into mindless flesh eaters and Columbus (complete with rules of survival at his disposal) is one of the lucky ones. By chance, he meets Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), a slightly crazed traveler who loves his zombie killin' as much as Twinkies. They are soon befriended (then conned, befriended, then conned again) by Wichita (Emma Stone) & Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), a sister team that hustles rubes from one point to the next. Along the way, they kill zombies, meet a comedy icon...and kill more zombies. It all ends at an amusement park, by the way.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Out of all the heavy elements a movie can have, plot is not one for Zombieland. Then again, a plot might take away from what makes it so fun. This flick is nothing more than pure, escapist fun and knows it. Hell, I know people that don't go for "zombie" pics and love this one. A lot of the film gets by on the strength of the two leads and their rapport with their female counterparts. Eisenberg (what? was Michael Cera busy? I kid, really) can play this neurotic wallflower part in his sleep and Harrelson's crazy man act is in full tilt mode here. Stone & Breslin account themselves well for what could usually be thankless roles and they can attribute that to characterization. This was once a TV pilot script that was reworked into a feature film and you get the sense that all of these people were meant to be "introduced" like in a pilot so the result is more fully fleshed out characters you can root for. The other pilot elements are scattershot (the "Zombie Kill of the Week" being the most obvious) and the celebrity cameo in the middle portion (other reviews have spoiled it by now but I stay steadfast in not revealing), while providing the biggest laughs of the film, also acts as the plateau. Things become more predictable afterwards and the story fails to regain the momentum it once had. The film is also a bit uneven in the sense that the comedic elements tend to outweigh the "zombie" elements at some points, which leads to the genre purist's argument of whether this a "real" Z movie or not. If you can take some of the film's pretensions (Columbus' rules appearing on the screen at various times), you will see plentiful gore as well as a genuine streak of laughter & gleeful carnage. It's no Night of the Living Dead but if cinema has taught us anything, it's that you don't always have to reinvent the wheel to get to the fireworks fact...er, amusement park.
Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!:
- John C. Reilly (Step Brothers, State of Grace) went uncredited as the "Bathroom Zombie".
- Screenwriter Mike White (The School of Rock, Nacho Libre) is the victim in said bathroom (wow, that sounds bad without context).
Body Count/Violence: 109! Despite its goofiness, Zombieland does not skimp on the gore factor. Most of the mindless extras are blasted by shotgun fire or other automatic weaponry. When he's not gunning them down, Tallahassee does in the rest by unconventional means (baseball bat, banjo, hedge clippers, etc.). There are a few other surprises but something that isn't surprising is the zombie flesh munching & mauling, to which there is quite a bit.
Sexuality/Nudity: A topless zombie stripper (with pasties) is shown during the opening credits.
Language/Dialogue: A few F-words, other obscenities and Tallahassee crowing about wanting his "G D Twinkies!"
How bad was it?:
Rotten Tomatoes has it at 90% so its fair to say that most critics enjoyed it for the good time it was meant to be. The few negative reviews either weren't down with the genre or couldn't help but compare it to its predecessors in some way.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
At a budget of $24 million, Sony/Columbia Pictures released Zombieland on 10/2/09 to an opening weekend gross of $24.7 million. It's top spot was overtaken the next week and it steadily dropped out of the top 10 by the end of the month. The film finished with a final number of $75.6 million in America, plus another $26.8 million overseas (total = $102.4 million). All of those totals ensure a sequel, which is in development at the moment.
Film: ***1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ****1/2/*****
Copyright 2012 The Action Mutant.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Pray for Death
The Action Mutant…
introduces his newest villain, Crackhouse Dave!
Pray for Death
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
With Halloween just around the corner, I have to wonder…when will it be en vogue to be a Ninja again on this holiday? I’m sure there were plenty of them in Sho Kosugi’s heyday but today it’s most likely all about the zombie. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m all for zombies on Halloween or Wednesday. It at least beats the shit out of…brrr, Jersey Shore costumes (or what some douchebags call “everyday wear”). All I can say is if you’re gonna be a ninja this Halloween, be Sho Kosugi. There’s few better to choose from.
The Plot, as it was:
Kosugi stars as Akira, a Japanese immigrant setting up a restaurant business with his family in America. However, he and the elderly gentleman (Parley Baer) he bought the place from do not realize that a valuable necklace that was hidden there has been stolen off the premises by crooked cops. While in cahoots with the cops, the befuddled mob doesn’t realize they have been taken by their partners and decide to target Akira and his family. Strong-armed by Limehouse Willie (James Booth) and his associates, Akira’s family is bullied until his wife Aiko (Donna K. Benz) is dead and son Takeshi (Kane Kosugi) is hospitalized. Another thing the mob doesn’t realize? They have awoken Akira’s inner NINJA!
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Kosugi starred in many ninja epics in the mid to late 80s and Pray for Death is one of his better made efforts. Like many Action heroes (especially of foreign descent), Kosugi delivery is wooden to say it kindly but the man has the screen presence to spare. When asked to deliver drama, Sho steps up and hits it solid; giving an extra dimension to what could be totally routine. Part of this has to do with Booth’s script, which paints Akira as a man haunted by his past and pushed until he can’t stands no more. Booth writes himself a plum counterpart to Akira in Limehouse Willie (who is NOT a hungry boxcar fighter battling for a sandwich…what was he on when he came up with that name?), who may just be one of the more reprehensible sonofabitches in 80 Action history. Willie does everything short of tying kids & old ladies down to railroad tracks whilst twirling a handlebar moustache (come to think of it, both would be hard to do at the same time). When the finale (which takes place in an abandoned mannequin factory like some plastic Cannibal Holocaust) kicks in, the viewer is just begging for ol’ Willie to be taken out…the mark of a truly great cinematic villain. The finale does bring about one of several implausabilities that might make some eyes roll (how can Akira take out five people at a time but have trouble with a near sixty year old man, no matter how good of shape he is?) Or Akira’s detective skills where he can determine who stole the necklace merely by a thread from the cop’s suit! Or how can the younger Kosugi kid take out every adult baddie within arm’s reach? To keep going would really defeat the purpose, though. This is just great, guilty pleasure fun of the time period from the action sequences to Peggy Abernathy’s “Back to the Shadows’” being belted out during the credits in a Benatar-ish wail (great for parties and ninja training montages…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCzQltBlYGA).
Body Count/Violence: 47. To be fair, 16 of these take place during a TV show scene that the kids are watching. However, there is a fair bit of bloody goings-on throughout the rest of the flick. Plenty of ninja stars, knife slashing & cutting, swordplay, saw blade action (both chain and buzz), car rundowns, explosions, shooting, etc.
Sexuality/Nudity: Though it was cut by distributors, it’s still subtly obvious that Willie violates Aiko before her ultimate demise. He tapes her mouth shut, smacks her about, then the next shot cuts to Willie washing blood from his face afterwards. It’s actually more disturbing this way.
Language/Dialogue: Some strong F-Word usage and other obscenities, namely what you would expect from someone nicknamed “Limehouse”.
How bad was it?:
Those that appreciate the ninja inside them appreciated this film, citing its positives more than its negatives (Booth’s performance being one of those main pluses).
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Shot for a relatively low $4 million in the winter of 1984, Trans World Entertainment released Pray for Death in November 1985. No grosses were made known but due to its minimal budget, it probably made noticeable bank.
Film: **1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ****/*****
Copyright 2011 The Action Mutant.
introduces his newest villain, Crackhouse Dave!
Pray for Death
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
With Halloween just around the corner, I have to wonder…when will it be en vogue to be a Ninja again on this holiday? I’m sure there were plenty of them in Sho Kosugi’s heyday but today it’s most likely all about the zombie. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m all for zombies on Halloween or Wednesday. It at least beats the shit out of…brrr, Jersey Shore costumes (or what some douchebags call “everyday wear”). All I can say is if you’re gonna be a ninja this Halloween, be Sho Kosugi. There’s few better to choose from.
The Plot, as it was:
Kosugi stars as Akira, a Japanese immigrant setting up a restaurant business with his family in America. However, he and the elderly gentleman (Parley Baer) he bought the place from do not realize that a valuable necklace that was hidden there has been stolen off the premises by crooked cops. While in cahoots with the cops, the befuddled mob doesn’t realize they have been taken by their partners and decide to target Akira and his family. Strong-armed by Limehouse Willie (James Booth) and his associates, Akira’s family is bullied until his wife Aiko (Donna K. Benz) is dead and son Takeshi (Kane Kosugi) is hospitalized. Another thing the mob doesn’t realize? They have awoken Akira’s inner NINJA!
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Kosugi starred in many ninja epics in the mid to late 80s and Pray for Death is one of his better made efforts. Like many Action heroes (especially of foreign descent), Kosugi delivery is wooden to say it kindly but the man has the screen presence to spare. When asked to deliver drama, Sho steps up and hits it solid; giving an extra dimension to what could be totally routine. Part of this has to do with Booth’s script, which paints Akira as a man haunted by his past and pushed until he can’t stands no more. Booth writes himself a plum counterpart to Akira in Limehouse Willie (who is NOT a hungry boxcar fighter battling for a sandwich…what was he on when he came up with that name?), who may just be one of the more reprehensible sonofabitches in 80 Action history. Willie does everything short of tying kids & old ladies down to railroad tracks whilst twirling a handlebar moustache (come to think of it, both would be hard to do at the same time). When the finale (which takes place in an abandoned mannequin factory like some plastic Cannibal Holocaust) kicks in, the viewer is just begging for ol’ Willie to be taken out…the mark of a truly great cinematic villain. The finale does bring about one of several implausabilities that might make some eyes roll (how can Akira take out five people at a time but have trouble with a near sixty year old man, no matter how good of shape he is?) Or Akira’s detective skills where he can determine who stole the necklace merely by a thread from the cop’s suit! Or how can the younger Kosugi kid take out every adult baddie within arm’s reach? To keep going would really defeat the purpose, though. This is just great, guilty pleasure fun of the time period from the action sequences to Peggy Abernathy’s “Back to the Shadows’” being belted out during the credits in a Benatar-ish wail (great for parties and ninja training montages…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCzQltBlYGA).
Body Count/Violence: 47. To be fair, 16 of these take place during a TV show scene that the kids are watching. However, there is a fair bit of bloody goings-on throughout the rest of the flick. Plenty of ninja stars, knife slashing & cutting, swordplay, saw blade action (both chain and buzz), car rundowns, explosions, shooting, etc.
Sexuality/Nudity: Though it was cut by distributors, it’s still subtly obvious that Willie violates Aiko before her ultimate demise. He tapes her mouth shut, smacks her about, then the next shot cuts to Willie washing blood from his face afterwards. It’s actually more disturbing this way.
Language/Dialogue: Some strong F-Word usage and other obscenities, namely what you would expect from someone nicknamed “Limehouse”.
How bad was it?:
Those that appreciate the ninja inside them appreciated this film, citing its positives more than its negatives (Booth’s performance being one of those main pluses).
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Shot for a relatively low $4 million in the winter of 1984, Trans World Entertainment released Pray for Death in November 1985. No grosses were made known but due to its minimal budget, it probably made noticeable bank.
Film: **1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ****/*****
Copyright 2011 The Action Mutant.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Hunt to Kill
The Action Mutant…
says he can get more generic with the titles if you would like.
Hunt to Kill
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
Ah, the Direct-to-Video market. Where former pro wrestlers go to resurrect their careers like a phoenix rising from the Redbox. Hulk Hogan did it. Roddy Piper did it. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson skipped that and just went right into feature films. One more name to add to the list of the former two is "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. After getting out of the pro wrestling game, Austin starred in the much maligned The Condemned. Of course, action films are pretty much exempt from much critical shelling and Austin went on to star in a series of solid, if unspectacular actioners. Aside from his role in The Expendables, all of these have been of the aforementioned DtV variety. Now, in your best Vince McMahon voice, get ready to read the review of the movie that is...HUNT TO KILL!
The Plot, as it was:
Austin plays Jim Rhodes (if you we-all), a former Border Patrol agent living in Montana after the death of his partner (ERIC ROBERTS!). Rhodes is a man of the land and the only things he has to deal with are the occasional bad weather and his rebellious daughter Kim (Marie Avergopoulos) shoplifting. He goes to spring the kid from the Sheriff's office only to run into a band of thieves led by the twisted Banks (Gil Bellows). They are in search of a rogue member (Michael Hogan) of their squad that strayed off with their money from a previous heist. Of course, they need someone that knows the land and...well, you all know where this is going. He and his daughter are held against their will in trying to track down the money but once things get hairier, the real question being posed is "Who is being hunted here?" Hunted...TO KILL! Ok, it's old now.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
If I had to put a comparison to it, Hunt to Kill is mostly akin to the average student in the classroom. They don't do anything relatively great but they won't disappoint either. They are pretty much adequate at what they do and so is this flick. Nothing from Kill is out to reset the wheel and therefore, it passes as a standard time killer. As expected, Austin works well as the vengeful, sullen hero who can be brash when needed to be. The guy has presence to spare and that carries him through to the next scene. The rest of the cast comprise the usual archetypes for the genre as far as a villain superteam is concerned (psycho boss, slutty arm candy, dashing Euro braggart, nerdy tech guy, etc.). Bellows stands out but not in a particularly great way. See, director Keoni Waxman helmed a mildly underrated action film called Countdown in 1996. The heavy in that film was played by Jason London (Dazed and Confused, The Rage: Carrie 2) and lets just say there was enough ham in that performance for a weeks worth of family dinners. Bellows pulls the same act here and when the script calls for him to act crazy, it doesn't quite come off as convincing, either. It's a slight distraction from what is a basic, by the numbers tome with a few decent fight scenes (the one with Austin & action stalwart Gary Daniels being the showcase), a last third that picks up steam and a bravura finale, if anything.
Body Count/Violence: 15. Although Austin doesn't hand out any "Stone Cold Stunners" (still waiting...), he hands out the brutality in marginal doses. Some gory CGI shooting, explosions, broken limbs, ATV mayhem, arrow shots, wooden branch impaling and general ass whoopery abound.
Sexuality/Nudity: None. Though I'm sure Under Armour got a good cut from this flick since Austin wears an UA shirt for the majority of his screen time.
Language/Dialogue: Pretty strong, with a good amount of F-word droppage and other obscenities.
How bad was it?:
The majority of critics place it on the "we've seen it before" shelf but some less discerning scribes liked it for what it was. Not surprisingly, a lot of them pretty much poo poo on Bellows' performance.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Filmed in the fall of 2009 in Canada, no grosses are available for this DtV release (available as of 11/9/10) by Anchor Bay Entertainment.
Film: **/*****
Entertainment value: ***/*****
Copyright 2011 The Action Mutant.
says he can get more generic with the titles if you would like.
Hunt to Kill
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
Ah, the Direct-to-Video market. Where former pro wrestlers go to resurrect their careers like a phoenix rising from the Redbox. Hulk Hogan did it. Roddy Piper did it. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson skipped that and just went right into feature films. One more name to add to the list of the former two is "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. After getting out of the pro wrestling game, Austin starred in the much maligned The Condemned. Of course, action films are pretty much exempt from much critical shelling and Austin went on to star in a series of solid, if unspectacular actioners. Aside from his role in The Expendables, all of these have been of the aforementioned DtV variety. Now, in your best Vince McMahon voice, get ready to read the review of the movie that is...HUNT TO KILL!
The Plot, as it was:
Austin plays Jim Rhodes (if you we-all), a former Border Patrol agent living in Montana after the death of his partner (ERIC ROBERTS!). Rhodes is a man of the land and the only things he has to deal with are the occasional bad weather and his rebellious daughter Kim (Marie Avergopoulos) shoplifting. He goes to spring the kid from the Sheriff's office only to run into a band of thieves led by the twisted Banks (Gil Bellows). They are in search of a rogue member (Michael Hogan) of their squad that strayed off with their money from a previous heist. Of course, they need someone that knows the land and...well, you all know where this is going. He and his daughter are held against their will in trying to track down the money but once things get hairier, the real question being posed is "Who is being hunted here?" Hunted...TO KILL! Ok, it's old now.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
If I had to put a comparison to it, Hunt to Kill is mostly akin to the average student in the classroom. They don't do anything relatively great but they won't disappoint either. They are pretty much adequate at what they do and so is this flick. Nothing from Kill is out to reset the wheel and therefore, it passes as a standard time killer. As expected, Austin works well as the vengeful, sullen hero who can be brash when needed to be. The guy has presence to spare and that carries him through to the next scene. The rest of the cast comprise the usual archetypes for the genre as far as a villain superteam is concerned (psycho boss, slutty arm candy, dashing Euro braggart, nerdy tech guy, etc.). Bellows stands out but not in a particularly great way. See, director Keoni Waxman helmed a mildly underrated action film called Countdown in 1996. The heavy in that film was played by Jason London (Dazed and Confused, The Rage: Carrie 2) and lets just say there was enough ham in that performance for a weeks worth of family dinners. Bellows pulls the same act here and when the script calls for him to act crazy, it doesn't quite come off as convincing, either. It's a slight distraction from what is a basic, by the numbers tome with a few decent fight scenes (the one with Austin & action stalwart Gary Daniels being the showcase), a last third that picks up steam and a bravura finale, if anything.
Body Count/Violence: 15. Although Austin doesn't hand out any "Stone Cold Stunners" (still waiting...), he hands out the brutality in marginal doses. Some gory CGI shooting, explosions, broken limbs, ATV mayhem, arrow shots, wooden branch impaling and general ass whoopery abound.
Sexuality/Nudity: None. Though I'm sure Under Armour got a good cut from this flick since Austin wears an UA shirt for the majority of his screen time.
Language/Dialogue: Pretty strong, with a good amount of F-word droppage and other obscenities.
How bad was it?:
The majority of critics place it on the "we've seen it before" shelf but some less discerning scribes liked it for what it was. Not surprisingly, a lot of them pretty much poo poo on Bellows' performance.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Filmed in the fall of 2009 in Canada, no grosses are available for this DtV release (available as of 11/9/10) by Anchor Bay Entertainment.
Film: **/*****
Entertainment value: ***/*****
Copyright 2011 The Action Mutant.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Hard Target - Director's Cut
The Action Mutant…
says neckties are dangerous for a reason!
Hard Target (Director’s Cut)
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
So, you know something good had to bring me back out of hiding and it has, courtesy of a submission on a certain viral video site. It’s like hitting free porn on your computer, except people close to you will just think you’re a sociopath instead of a freaky, sex pervert (it’s ok…they probably think the latter about you already). Oh, and what has happened since last I wrote? Well…not much. I started watching Glee recently, which leaves me about as shocked as you are. Dennis Hopper died, which was a stone cold bummer. I remember in my silly, formative years thinking that Hopper’s villain in Speed was the greatest thing I ever seen…and then I saw Blue Velvet! Baby didn’t sleep that night. I learned that a tie is more dangerous than a sledgehammer, pro wrestling refs and soccer refs go to the same school and two oil CEOs may be able to screw in a light bulb but they can’t stop a fucking oil leak! And yes, I realize this part of the review will be very timely in five years or so. Then again, so will this whole Jersey/reality TV craze (one can only hope).
The Plot, as it was:
Check the archives for January 2009. It’s the first review. Dammit, do I have to do everything around here?
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Reading of Hard Target’s development makes for a story of turmoil and missed opportunity. After its underwhelming debut in 1993, the legend of Woo’s fabled 116 minute “director’s cut” started making the rounds with bootleg video hounds & collectors all over. The promise of seeing the film as Woo intended it (a 128 minute cut is rumored to exist but Woo prefers this one) gave fans hope, as they figured on seeing either a new bevy of violence or an amazingly better film than what they saw in theaters. Needless to say, both assumptions were half right. Woo’s Target is markedly better than the theater cut but that doesn’t push it into classic territory with A Better Tomorrow or The Killer nor is it as insanely violent as Hard Boiled. The perception of Van Damme being the “infallible hero” still holds true, which pretty much means fans were getting a JCVD flick no matter how long it was (though there are less close ups in this version). Yancy Butler’s corpse-like delivery is still intact, as well as Diabeetus’ goofy Uncle Douvee (complete with greeting dance for Chance in this version). And to clarify, this is also a “work print”, meaning there is no polished open/closing credits, Graeme Revell music (the fill-in music is from other films, reminding me of the glory days of Cannon) and time display in the left hand corner. However, it’s easy to tell that despite the lack of post-production shine, the man was definitely trying to craft something above the norm. There are several small touches that didn’t make it into the final print, such as Chance & Van Cleef using their tracking skills to their fullest and flashbacks seen in different points of the movie than they were in the theatrical cut. Oddly enough, the finale arguably works better in the theatrical cut with Fouchon putting up more of a fight there. The version here has Fouchon talking more trash (and JCVD’s close ups replaced with shots of the bombed out parade floats) but lacks the most humorous touch in his bravura demise (that touch most likely being a Sam Raimi touch added in after the fact)! In all, this is the better edition of the two versions and should be required viewing for Woo fans. (Note: I know I missed stuff…read below)
Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!: Same as before.
Body Count/Violence: 44. C-mon, fella, admit it…this is what you wanted to read. You knew mucho violent content was excised from this flick and you wanted to find out about the juicy bits. Let’s go chronologically with this (SPOLIERS!!!):
- The opening hunt of Binder (Chuck Pfarrer) has the prey putting up more of a fight, with Binder actually taking out a henchman in a kill that mirrors one of Chance’s better ones. Binder pulls the arrow out of his shoulder in slow motion and is later shot in the leg by one (explaining that arrow that magically appeared sticking out of his leg as he fell through the bridge in the theatrical cut).
- The Reservoir Dogs homage where Poe’s (Elliot Keener) ear is cut by scissors is intact, with blood flowing freely as the ear is visibly severed. Fouchon punches Poe square in the face, sending blood flying out of his fat jowls.
- The most potent scene of the DC is arguably when Fouchon is playing the piano & shots of big game being hunted down are intercut with it. This was cut out of the theatrical cut, either because it was felt to be too disturbing or may have made viewers think too much. Can’t have either, daddy.
- The cemetery shootout has Elijah (Willie Carpenter) emptying a few more rounds into Zenan (Joe Warfield). Elijah’s death is more prolonged as he gets up after being shot 20 or so times and takes at least 20 more.
- The sequence set off by Poe’s death starts with Det. Mitchell (Kasi Lemmons) taking bloodier bullet hits. Chance takes out an extra biker by gunfire and sets out to be chased. In one of the more perplexing cuts, a black Sedan is shot up by Chance, sent flying into a parked car and explodes. In the theatrical cut, the Sedan is obviously apart of the chase at the beginning but disappears when the chase hits the highway. Chance lets off a few extra shots before crashing the motorcycle into the 4x4 truck.
- The hunters spend more time carefully closing in on Douvee’s shack. Two nameless bikers are set on fire in slow motion before being put out of their misery by Fouchon.
- The warehouse shootout has much more going on this time around. SVEN-OLE gets an extra 15-20 shots before getting the spin-kicking of a lifetime (remember, 528 bullets to the torso won’t work but topped off with a well placed JCVD kick? Money!). Two bikers get extra bullets and a new biker gets gunned down. The hunter in the cowboy hat takes extra bloody hits and Lopacki (Robert Apisa) is not only shot extra by Chance but takes an arrow in the arm from Douvee! Douvee’s one kill by arrow is punctuated by showing that the arrow actually went through the guy’s throat (with the shot of the biker falling to the ground with the arrow piercing through his neck not in the TC). Chance takes out three bikers by bloody gunfire, then unloads more extra rounds into Van Cleef.
- The final shootout between Chance & Fouchon is notably different here. Douvee takes an extra bloody shot to the leg (explaining his limp after being stabbed with the arrow). After the two talk trash to each other, Chance kicks Fouchon down but the next shot is of Fouchon taking Nat hostage (excising the brawling part in between added in afterwards). After Chance kicks Fouchon clear into next week, he avoids saying his big closing TC line (“Hunting season…is over!”), drops the grenade on Fouchon’s lap and he goes ka-boom. The end. Fire up that Creedence, Dude!
Sexuality/Nudity: Did you know there’s a love scene in here between Chance & Nat? No foolin’. It was apparently done away with because it didn’t show enough T&A. Yes because Van Damme’s ass wasn’t showcased enough in his previous starring vehicles. It’s so obvious THAT’S what this film was missing!
Language/Dialogue: Same as before.
How bad was it?:
Critics maintain that while most of the DC is better, it’s not perfect by any means. Still, we would have rather watched this. Thanks, Universal!
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Obviously not. And yet Waterworld was green lighted over this shit.
Film: ***/*****
Entertainment value: ****1/2/*****
Copyright 2010 The Action Mutant.
says neckties are dangerous for a reason!
Hard Target (Director’s Cut)
review by Joe Burrows
Perspective:
So, you know something good had to bring me back out of hiding and it has, courtesy of a submission on a certain viral video site. It’s like hitting free porn on your computer, except people close to you will just think you’re a sociopath instead of a freaky, sex pervert (it’s ok…they probably think the latter about you already). Oh, and what has happened since last I wrote? Well…not much. I started watching Glee recently, which leaves me about as shocked as you are. Dennis Hopper died, which was a stone cold bummer. I remember in my silly, formative years thinking that Hopper’s villain in Speed was the greatest thing I ever seen…and then I saw Blue Velvet! Baby didn’t sleep that night. I learned that a tie is more dangerous than a sledgehammer, pro wrestling refs and soccer refs go to the same school and two oil CEOs may be able to screw in a light bulb but they can’t stop a fucking oil leak! And yes, I realize this part of the review will be very timely in five years or so. Then again, so will this whole Jersey/reality TV craze (one can only hope).
The Plot, as it was:
Check the archives for January 2009. It’s the first review. Dammit, do I have to do everything around here?
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Reading of Hard Target’s development makes for a story of turmoil and missed opportunity. After its underwhelming debut in 1993, the legend of Woo’s fabled 116 minute “director’s cut” started making the rounds with bootleg video hounds & collectors all over. The promise of seeing the film as Woo intended it (a 128 minute cut is rumored to exist but Woo prefers this one) gave fans hope, as they figured on seeing either a new bevy of violence or an amazingly better film than what they saw in theaters. Needless to say, both assumptions were half right. Woo’s Target is markedly better than the theater cut but that doesn’t push it into classic territory with A Better Tomorrow or The Killer nor is it as insanely violent as Hard Boiled. The perception of Van Damme being the “infallible hero” still holds true, which pretty much means fans were getting a JCVD flick no matter how long it was (though there are less close ups in this version). Yancy Butler’s corpse-like delivery is still intact, as well as Diabeetus’ goofy Uncle Douvee (complete with greeting dance for Chance in this version). And to clarify, this is also a “work print”, meaning there is no polished open/closing credits, Graeme Revell music (the fill-in music is from other films, reminding me of the glory days of Cannon) and time display in the left hand corner. However, it’s easy to tell that despite the lack of post-production shine, the man was definitely trying to craft something above the norm. There are several small touches that didn’t make it into the final print, such as Chance & Van Cleef using their tracking skills to their fullest and flashbacks seen in different points of the movie than they were in the theatrical cut. Oddly enough, the finale arguably works better in the theatrical cut with Fouchon putting up more of a fight there. The version here has Fouchon talking more trash (and JCVD’s close ups replaced with shots of the bombed out parade floats) but lacks the most humorous touch in his bravura demise (that touch most likely being a Sam Raimi touch added in after the fact)! In all, this is the better edition of the two versions and should be required viewing for Woo fans. (Note: I know I missed stuff…read below)
Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!: Same as before.
Body Count/Violence: 44. C-mon, fella, admit it…this is what you wanted to read. You knew mucho violent content was excised from this flick and you wanted to find out about the juicy bits. Let’s go chronologically with this (SPOLIERS!!!):
- The opening hunt of Binder (Chuck Pfarrer) has the prey putting up more of a fight, with Binder actually taking out a henchman in a kill that mirrors one of Chance’s better ones. Binder pulls the arrow out of his shoulder in slow motion and is later shot in the leg by one (explaining that arrow that magically appeared sticking out of his leg as he fell through the bridge in the theatrical cut).
- The Reservoir Dogs homage where Poe’s (Elliot Keener) ear is cut by scissors is intact, with blood flowing freely as the ear is visibly severed. Fouchon punches Poe square in the face, sending blood flying out of his fat jowls.
- The most potent scene of the DC is arguably when Fouchon is playing the piano & shots of big game being hunted down are intercut with it. This was cut out of the theatrical cut, either because it was felt to be too disturbing or may have made viewers think too much. Can’t have either, daddy.
- The cemetery shootout has Elijah (Willie Carpenter) emptying a few more rounds into Zenan (Joe Warfield). Elijah’s death is more prolonged as he gets up after being shot 20 or so times and takes at least 20 more.
- The sequence set off by Poe’s death starts with Det. Mitchell (Kasi Lemmons) taking bloodier bullet hits. Chance takes out an extra biker by gunfire and sets out to be chased. In one of the more perplexing cuts, a black Sedan is shot up by Chance, sent flying into a parked car and explodes. In the theatrical cut, the Sedan is obviously apart of the chase at the beginning but disappears when the chase hits the highway. Chance lets off a few extra shots before crashing the motorcycle into the 4x4 truck.
- The hunters spend more time carefully closing in on Douvee’s shack. Two nameless bikers are set on fire in slow motion before being put out of their misery by Fouchon.
- The warehouse shootout has much more going on this time around. SVEN-OLE gets an extra 15-20 shots before getting the spin-kicking of a lifetime (remember, 528 bullets to the torso won’t work but topped off with a well placed JCVD kick? Money!). Two bikers get extra bullets and a new biker gets gunned down. The hunter in the cowboy hat takes extra bloody hits and Lopacki (Robert Apisa) is not only shot extra by Chance but takes an arrow in the arm from Douvee! Douvee’s one kill by arrow is punctuated by showing that the arrow actually went through the guy’s throat (with the shot of the biker falling to the ground with the arrow piercing through his neck not in the TC). Chance takes out three bikers by bloody gunfire, then unloads more extra rounds into Van Cleef.
- The final shootout between Chance & Fouchon is notably different here. Douvee takes an extra bloody shot to the leg (explaining his limp after being stabbed with the arrow). After the two talk trash to each other, Chance kicks Fouchon down but the next shot is of Fouchon taking Nat hostage (excising the brawling part in between added in afterwards). After Chance kicks Fouchon clear into next week, he avoids saying his big closing TC line (“Hunting season…is over!”), drops the grenade on Fouchon’s lap and he goes ka-boom. The end. Fire up that Creedence, Dude!
Sexuality/Nudity: Did you know there’s a love scene in here between Chance & Nat? No foolin’. It was apparently done away with because it didn’t show enough T&A. Yes because Van Damme’s ass wasn’t showcased enough in his previous starring vehicles. It’s so obvious THAT’S what this film was missing!
Language/Dialogue: Same as before.
How bad was it?:
Critics maintain that while most of the DC is better, it’s not perfect by any means. Still, we would have rather watched this. Thanks, Universal!
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Obviously not. And yet Waterworld was green lighted over this shit.
Film: ***/*****
Entertainment value: ****1/2/*****
Copyright 2010 The Action Mutant.
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