Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Robocop 2

The Action Mutant…
is…having….trouble!


Robocop 2


review by Joe Burrows


Perspective:
Back in my original Robocop review, I had mentioned that if it were made today, it would probably cost $200 million and be directed by Michael Bay. I can only imagine it being dreadful, as it would most likely be watered down and PG-13eened to death (though, that’s happened already in the franchise, as you will see in a future review). The casting would certainly be critical; despite the fact the SFX would be the real star. I hate to say it but the role of Murphy could go to almost anyone (ok, not Carrot Top) as all of the CGI would pretty much do the work. I could see Linda Cardinelli (Freaks & Geeks, still one of the 10 best shows cancelled way too early!) as Lewis, as she’d be gutsy but vulnerable. Maybe Martin Sheen as the Old Man, Michael Caine as Dick Jones, Gary Oldman or Ben Foster as your main baddie (NO ONE is recreating Clarence Boddicker) and you’d at least have the makings of something watchable. Of course, there have already been talks of remaking the original so we’ll see how bad the casting choices are and how it deadens my soul just that much more. In the meantime…

The Plot, as it was:
Robocop (Peter Weller) is back and so is his identity crisis from the original. OCP tries to reprogram Robo…with sexy…no, horrible results. The corporation decides to manufacture a newer version of their initial creation, as the Old Man (Daniel O’Herlihy) wants to pacify the citizens of Detroit in the effort to create a new city. Meanwhile, a creepy cult leader named Cain (Tom Noonan) is infesting the streets with a powerful designer drug called Nuke and is aided by a powerful street team that has a unlikely disciple in Hob (Gabriel Damon), a foul mouthed adolescent that’s deadlier than he looks. Looks like Robo has more problems than just trying to figure out if he’s human or not.

Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Anyone that always gets the feeling that sequels are out to change the original layout radically will get a mixed feeling with Robocop 2. It’s pretty much just like the first…only not as focused or good. For one, the writing is not as sharp and is sorely lacking that snap by original writers Michael Miner and Ed Neumeier (Frank Miller’s original script was reworked severely by veteran scribe Walon Green). This is very notable with Noonan playing Cain, as he plays him very slimy but doesn’t have many memorable lines to work with (the best was comparing himself to Jesus and ending his speech with “I forgive you”…good, but can’t touch any of Clarence’s gems). The film is also notable for its shift in tone, as the almost giddy, parody laden atmosphere is replaced by a something that comes off too seriously. Although there are a few funny mock ads (the first with John Glover making a cameo is very amusing), they’re not as plentiful as the first. What it really comes down to is that Robocop 2 tries to be too many things while trying to keep the memory of the first film intact. The moralistic stance on drugs is so evident here (especially when Hob is added in the mix as sort of a corrupted face of the new wave of drug consumption) whereas it was just an element to the story in the first film. Robo goes through so many changes in this one that it’s easy to forget that he seemed to find his identity in the end of the first film (the reprogramming fallout, while amusing, is a little too silly for its own good)! Never mind the fact that the Old Man goes from benevolent tycoon to malevolent old bastard with no explanation in this one, either! Weller and Nancy Allen (Lewis) are given even less to do the second go-around, as Robo is given the Poochie treatment most of the time (with everyone talking about Robocop as opposed to….actually seeing Robocop!). Despite all of this, the film is still watchable and it delivers the slam-bang goods when it needs to. The stop motion SFX is still top notch as per the first installment and the final battle certainly pulls out all of the stops. Everything works on all the base requirements a sequel should fulfill…just don’t expect the kinetic forces and story craftsmanship that made the first such a legendary entity.

Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!:
- Fabiana Udenio (Alotta Fagina in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery) is the model in the “Sunblock 5000” ad.
- Frank Miller (the original screenwriter for Robocop 2 and creator of Sin City and 300) is Frank the Chemist.

Body Count/Violence: 60! A sequel usually ups the body count…but doubling it outright? 2.0 proved to be as nasty as the first, as it adds in more than the pervasive bloody shooting (which is maybe a notch below the squib level of the first…nice shot to the eye, though!). There are high heels to the eye, gory surgery scenes, Robo-limbs being cut off, brain smashing, neck breaking, baseball bat beating, car crashes, explosions, electrocution, etc.

Sexuality/Nudity: A slinky outfit here and there but nothing to hang on to.

Language/Dialogue: When Hob speaks, there’s usually a derivative of “fuck” or “shit” involved. Fairly profane, like the first.

How bad was it?:
Well, it’s a sequel so it has a disadvantage right at the outset. Basically, those that loved the first one didn’t love the second one as much and those that hated the first one reviled this one. Many critics cited the follow-up’s theater of cruelty as a hang-up for lack of new ideas.

Did it make the studio’s day?:
Produced on a budget of $14 million, Orion Pictures distributed Robocop 2 to theaters on 6/22/90. It grossed a little over its budget its first weekend ($14.2 million) but still finished 2nd to Dick Tracy (which was in its 2nd week). It dropped out of the top 20 over a month later and wound up with a gross of $45.7 million. Although it made a decent profit, it was considered a mild disappointment since it didn’t match the grosses of the original Robocop. Wonder what the reaction was when they saw the receipts for Robocop 3!

Film: **1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ****/*****

Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Warriors

The Action Mutant…
inserts the expected dialogue about “coming out and play-yay…ing”.


The Warriors


review by Joe Burrows


Perspective:
Isn’t it funny how we can laugh at things that seemed like a pretty big deal at the time? Case in point: the advertising for The Warriors when it was first released in 1979. Original posters used to read something like this: These are the Armies of The Night. They are 60,000 strong. They outnumber the cops three to one. They could run New York City. Tonight they're all out to get the Warriors. Now, apparently someone got the idea that this could be seen as a “call to action”, if you will. Somebody could take this message seriously and try to do some serious hurt upon someone or worse. Therefore, the second line of posters was toned down to merely logos and illustrations. And it didn’t matter. People still got into fights during the film’s showings and I’m sure one or two young punks decided to test a cop or two. Life went on. The point is it all depends on how a person is wired. If you decide to take something like The Warriors or A Clockwork Orange or the music of Marilyn Manson seriously, then it’s going to happen unless someone talks some sense into you. Never mind the 95% of us sane folk that will watch the film or listen to the album and move on with our wretched lives. Besides, what if someone went on a killing spree after watching Cabaret or The Way We Were? Would it even be mentioned? Can you dig it?!?

The Plot, as it was:
Michael Beck and James Remar (48 Hrs.) play Swan & Ajax, members of a street gang called the Warriors. They and seven other Warriors visit an open air rally with other rival New York City gangs, hosted by gang-lord Cyrus (Roger Hill). As Cyrus is about to declare a truce between all of the gangs, he’s shot dead by Rogue member Luther (David Patrick Kelly). The Warriors are framed for the assassination and they’re soon on the run, attempting to make it back home to Coney Island. Out for their hides are not only the Rogues but several gangs such as the Punks, Orphans, Furies and the police themselves.

Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Judging by the plot description, one would expect The Warriors to be your run of the mill, street tough melodrama. And the elements for such are certainly there, from the corny dialogue (“We're gonna rain on you, Warriors!”) to the expected romance between Swan and rival chick Mercy (Deborah Van Valkenburgh). Just so happens this is directed by Action pro Walter Hill, who was just starting to come into his own as a Hollywood force. The Warriors differs from other genre pieces due to its energy, ballsiness and outright theatricality (the effective score by Barry DeVorzon and the intermittent narration of the late Lynne Thigpen’s DJ adds many layers to the proceedings). It’s a definite audience participatory effort, with the Warriors having to fight their way through an assortment of freaks and weirdoes, which speaks to the survivalist instinct in all of us. The lack of star power gives the gritty settings a bit more substance (real gang members were used at some points!) and the local color heightens things even more. It’s the gangs themselves that make for the most memorable moments, as their appearances are put against the ultra-realistic landscape and made to create an odd counterbalance & visceral fight sequences (everyone remembers the Furies most…you know, the ones that look as if Gene Simmons bought the Yankees…I could see that happening, too!). Everyone does ok by the material they’re given but its Kelly once again that steals it all by making it seem like he’s the craziest person in civilization. The guy just manages to weird the viewer out, even before his now immortal war cry (which has been parodied to death since then but still maintains its creepiness). Though it’s quite dated and shopworn, The Warriors is still gutsy fun and certainly energetic enough to be given a look. Watch…or get bopped!

Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!:
- Mercedes Ruehl (The Fisher King) is the woman on the bench.
- Steve James (American Ninja) is one of the Furies.
- Sonny Landham (Predator) is a policeman.
- Odd trivia: If you watch the TV version (which has 6 minutes of other footage added), you’ll notice a knife thrown into a board during the opening credits. That knife is actually thrown by Penn Jillette of the future Penn & Teller (and of the totally underrated Penn & Teller Get Killed). He was a street performer at the time and was approached by producers in Atlantic City to do that one shot. Funny thing is the film shows a more attractive character before the shot with knife in hand, making it look like he threw it.

Body Count/Violence: 4. This isn’t a very death-heavy film but what it lacks in that, it certainly makes up for in its asskicking. After the opening shooting, there are plenty of brawls and chase scenes and while they aren’t bloody, they are memorable. We get knife slashing, baseball bat play, clubbing, chairs as weapons, Molotov cocktail attacks and more. The brawl between the Warriors and the Punks is the most potent, with gangers crashing through bathroom stall doors and thrown into mirrors and such. Good times. (Note: The villains get their comeuppance at the end but it’s not clear if they’re killed or just messed up really bad. Though I could assume…well, you know what they say about assumptions)

Sexuality/Nudity: There is some forcing upon women and making out but it doesn’t get graphic at all.

Language/Dialogue: Fairly strong, especially when Ajax is involved.

How bad was it?:
Initially, The Warriors wasn’t given many great reviews and was dismissed as mindless Action fare. Of course, its cult measure (and critical response) has grown since people have begun to appreciate its finer points.

Did it make the studio’s day?:
Filmed in many locations in New York City (much of it uninterrupted during late nights, a rarity in films) in 1978, Paramount Pictures released The Warriors on 2/9/79. The film proved to be a mild commercial success; earning $3.5 million for the top spot its first weekend and eventually closing with $22.5 million in the States. Things weren’t helped by poor critical response or by many violent brawls breaking out at screenings but that controversy actually helped meld its cult status in the years that followed. A video game released by Rockstar Games in 2005 went on to earn $37 million and there is (of course) talks of a remake with Tony Scott set to direct. Maybe the Orphans will get some love this time.

Film: ***/*****
Entertainment value: ****1/2/*****

Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.

Shout at the Devil

The Action Mutant…
is the blood stain on the stage.


Shout at the Devil


review by Joe Burrows


Perspective:
It’s getting to the point now that if I were to die watching TV tomorrow, it would probably be while watching a Lee Marvin film. I still stand by the fact that every six months to a year or so, I find a new Marvin effort (well, new to me) that seems to have its own identity to it. This rainy day fare was no different…and it stars James Bond #3! But, Lee Marvin is a drunkard in this one, so some things never change.

The Plot, as it was:
Marvin stars as Flynn O’Flynn (no typo), an ivory poacher and all around drunken cad that cons an Englishman named Sebastian Oldsmith (Roger Moore) into helping him smuggle ivory past German forces in 1913 East Africa. Their partnership grows and even leads to Sebastian marrying O’Flynn’s daughter Rosa (Barbara Parkins), much to the soused O’Flynn’s initial dismay. However, the patrolling German commander Fleischer (Rene Kolldehoff) is a brutish prick that has had it out for O’Flynn for quite sometime. When WWI is declared, Fleischer storms O’Flynn’s estate and destroys nearly everything in sight. With revenge on their mind, Sebastian and the O’Flynns plan to storm Fleischer’s German battle cruiser and drive him straight to Hell…so he can shout….SHOUT AT THE DEVIL!

Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
My “rainy day fare” comment wasn’t just written to fill space…Shout at the Devil is quite the entertaining “popcorn” movie. It’s definitely a work that is not here to win points for subtlety or political correctness. The humor is very broad and mainly consists of Marvin’s inebriated, foot-in-mouth act and Moore’s conflicting eruditeness. More than a few people may be turned off by some of the practices that are taken lightly here, which wouldn’t fly today (ivory hunting, slavery, portrayal of savages, etc.). However, if you can take the broadness and outright simplicity of the story and go with the grand scale action & goofy humor (like I did), you will enjoy this immensely. The oddball atmosphere matches up perfectly with Marvin’s sardonic adventurer, as the actor could do this act in his sleep. The same can be said for Moore’s idealistic playboy, as he makes everything look so effortless once again. Seriously, give these two some gin on the rocks and that’s your movie right there (one of the film’s better running jokes is O’Flynn’s quest for fame & fortune is really fueled by his alcoholism…hey, I told you this wasn’t a straight arrow story!). Ian Holm is also pretty fun as O’Flynn’s mute servant, as that role requires some great facials that Holm provides in spades. The baddies are your usual “we’re German but we speak perfect English to keep the plot going” type and Kolldehoff looks the epitome of the slimy foreign commander. Once the tragic events in the story happen, the film becomes more predictable and less fun as it goes toward a serviceable climax. As said before, SatD is not meant to be cerebral and when it hit’s the third act, you’re really just watching it spin its wheels until it reaches its conclusion. However, the first 2/3 is so odd and amusing that it’s easy to forgive the slight misstep and just go along with this old school adventurer fare.

Body Count/Violence: 59. Seeing that this was rated PG (a 1970s equivalent to a PG, that is…which is to say PG-13ish), one would expect a few violent moments and SatD doesn’t disappoint. Though there are more than a few after-the-fact corpses, a lot of them have been lynched, trampled, shot, skulls pressed against trees and stabbed. The rest are shot the old fashioned way, as well as blown up, speared, run down by cannon wheels, set on fire and even decapitated in a way that mirrors David Warner’s memorable demise in The Omen (though the camera cuts away upon impact). There are also plenty of elephants shot for their ivory, though none of their deaths are lingered upon. The most memorable set piece is the brawl between the two leads that has them crashing through railings and drywall galore.

Sexuality/Nudity: A few naturally endowed native types (think National Geographic) make intermittent appearances and their exposure is very brief at all times.

Language/Dialogue: Nothing strong but its funny to hear Marvin string together old time insults to hurl at people. My favorite is when he declares Sebastian a “rapist” after hearing his daughter is pregnant and then calling HER a “hussy” and a “trollop” when she declares it was consensual.

How bad was it?:
The critical response was more than a bit mixed, as it was trashed for being an overly simplistic yarn and praised for its action and old fashioned styling. Ebert gave it *** but admitted that it was “…a big, dumb, silly movie that’s impossible to dislike.”

Did it make the studio’s day?:
Shout at the Devil was produced by Hemdale Film Distributors Ltd. in England and released in America by American International on 11/20/76. This Peter Hunt (who also directed Marvin in the cult classic Death Hunt) helmed pic was shot in Malta & South Africa and budgeted at $7 million, which was considered steep at the time. No box office figures are available. Though the U.S version runs at 119 minutes, Encore Action recently showed it in its complete 147 minute cut.

Film: **1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ***1/2/*****

Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Rambo

The Action Mutant…
says you don’t want to piss in John Rambo’s cornflakes!


Rambo


review by Joe Burrows


Perspective:
Ah, yes. A day late and a dollar short, as they say (they?). The weekend presented me the opportunity to watch this Rambo jazz I’ve been harping on. I just HAD to get that review of The Bodyguard up and little did I know that the free time to write this review would come very soon afterwards. Quite simply, my timing sucks (“Yeah. Too bad I didn’t get there until AFTER the sodomy!”). But fear not, for the story of Rambo 2.0 must be told! And after watching, think of the talk that Sly may be trying to remake Death Wish. I’m almost half-tempted to say it would work, strangely enough.

The Plot, as it was:
In the twenty years since we last saw John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) in action, he has taken residence in Thailand and has lived off of fishing and catching snakes for money (in a funny semi-dig, a snake peddler tells Rambo he’s tired of seeing cobras). When a group of missionaries led by Michael (Paul Schulze) and Sarah (Julie Benz) seek Rambo’s assistance in leading them up the river to the genocidal region of Burma (i.e. Myanmar), the weary ‘Nam vet warns them that nothing will change due to their good intentions. Predictably, they’re captured by the soldiers, who engage in some of the sickest torture and party games imaginable. It’s up to Rambo and a band of mercenaries to bust the prisoners out…and we all know you don’t want to anger up Rambo!

Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Anyone that is just familiar with the Rambo films being an excuse for Sly Stallone to oil up his pecs, strangle enemies with his taut thighs and engage in a post coital smoke (ok, I made the last one up) will be taken quite aback here. This is not the total comic book universe that Parts II and III were made of, as this is more of the callous, graphic novel version of John Rambo brought up to date. In essence, Rambo is a big middle finger from writers Stallone and Art Monterastelli to those that felt Rambo 20 years later wouldn’t fly in today’s landscape. To go even deeper, this version of Rambo is more in line with the recent Rob Zombie-fication of Halloween’s Michael Myers, whereas a legendary killing machine from the past is presented as a colder, rough around the edges mercenary that isn’t as slickly produced as before. Actually, Rambo has more in common with a horror film/serial killer this time around. With a butcher’s shoulders and temperament, Rambo’s shirt stays on and his scowl is almost permanent. The horrors of the past have gotten to him, turning him into a burnout that eventually kills for the mission (and need) over country. We even get an awesome Rocky V-esque montage to illustrate that point (I was half expecting Burgess Meredith to show up during it, just to yell “Get up, you son of a bitch! Cause Mickey loves ya!”). Sly also talks so little that he makes Charles Bronson sound like Tom Snyder chatting about his most recent lunch at Brentano’s. Fewer words make this Rambo the most efficient killing machine of the series and this film the most brisk of the four (80 minutes pre-closing credits). Sure, it has the thinnest of plots and characterizations (the villains are prototypically devilish and are just lacking the mustaches to twirl and a railroad system to use for bound, damsels in distress) and the final shot is a total tack-on (the pre-parting shot of Rambo ambling off into the jungle like Bigfoot, away from the carnage he just enveloped, would have been much more appropriate) but you will rarely find an actioner that will produce the visceral punch at a pace like this. The squeamish may want to look for another outlet (see below) as there was even more than a few moments that had my mouth drop. There are a few moments of comic relief via the mercenary team led by Lewis (Graham McTavish) but this is all basically a harsh, hard hitting, yet somehow entertaining (if you can take the bloodshed) product of the cynicism we have come to gather from the 80s. Remember, live for nothing….or die for something….or die trying….or try dying….or do some tie-dying!

Body Count/Violence: 247!!! What doesn’t this film have in terms of violence? Obviously, people are shot at a lightning pace but even that’s like nothing you’ve ever seen before. The bullets not only blast blood out by the quart and put large holes into people but (in the case of the machine gun that Rambo gets a hold of near the end) they even tear people in half! The nastiness goes past the firearms, as people are blown up by landmines (and turned into bloody geysers), stabbed, having limbs chopped, blown or shot off, hung, beheaded, gutted, grenade attacked, turned into pig feed (really), throats being torn out, necks breaking, skulls being bashed in and more! Kids are even shot, stabbed with bayonets and thrown into fires! Of course, Rambo spills more Kool Aid than anyone by not only shooting it out of them but also setting up a faux nuke device and even breaking out the old nitro tipped arrows for fun. There may be less kills here than Hard Boiled but the carnage is more guttural and I haven’t seen a pic with such a continued nasty streak since Sin City. Old heroes never die…they just spend time coming up with more ways to kill people! (Note: The 247 is a count from one of the main guys at moviebodycounts.com. I was not about to try to count along here so I read his breakdown and really have no reason to doubt it.)

Sexuality/Nudity: Some Asian chicks have their tops exposed and one has their behind shown but it’s all during sexual assaults so it’s not pleasant. There’s also a thinly veiled nod to the General (Maung Maung Khin) dabbling in pedophilia, as if the villains need to be made sicker.

Language/Dialogue: Strong at times, with Lewis winning the “Best Multilayered Insult” prize by calling a Burmese soldier a “lady-boy cunt”. It made me giggle.

How bad was it?:
Much like the other cinematic icon Stallone decided to resurrect recently, Rambo was not totally dumped on by critics. There were more than a few reviews that chided it as a sick exercise in nihilism but many also praised it (about as much as you can praise a Stallone film, I mean) for being so radically off the path, as compared to the previous two Rambos.

Did it make the studio’s day?:
Well, it’s not 1985 anymore (tell that to TAM). Produced by Lions Gate Films and The Weinstein Company for $50 million, Rambo debuted on 1/25/08 in 2nd place with $18.2 million…next to…yes, Meet the Spartans! It never found its blockbuster legs, falling out of the top 10 two weeks later and eventually ending up with an American gross of $42.8 million. Though it eventually gathered another $67.1 million overseas ($109.8 million worldwide) and $8.6 million in its first week on DVD (released 5/26/08), it was still the lowest grossing and profiting of the Rambo franchise. (Note: For the record, Rambo eventually out-grossed and out-profited Meet the Spartans worldwide, earning its $109.8 million to MTS’s $84.2 million. It should have been an outright trouncing, though. No wonder John Rambo never wanted to come back home!)

Film: **1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ****1/2/*****

Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

The Bodyguard (1976)

The Action Mutant…
will always love you...in a platonic, sort of way.


The Bodyguard (1976)


review by Joe Burrows


Perspective:
Well, it has finally come to this. Though this is article #101 of the TAM, this is officially the 100th review I’ve written (don’t forget about the video game article)! I didn’t even get into the habit of counting how many I did until I posted the bulk of them this past March. Anyway, I wish I had a more noteworthy film for the special occasion but I’ve honestly been a bit busy to go to the ol’ Redbox and rent Rambo. I definitely need a few free hours to count up all of the corpses in that gorefest! Speaking of familiarity and all that mess…

The path of the righteous man and defender is beset on all sides by the iniquity of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper, and the father of lost children. And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious anger, who poison and destroy my brothers; and they shall know that I am Chiba the Bodyguard when I shall lay my vengeance upon them! [Ezekiel 25:17]

Man, that QT has seen a lot of stuff! Although, I don’t remember Chiba breaking Abraham’s ribs after the latter killed Isaac. Or becoming the first to part the Red Sea by nailing it with a magma hairball powered punch. I have to read up on my Bible, stat!

The Plot, as it was:
Sonny is Chiba the Bodyguard (wow, that must have taken all of 0.5 seconds to come up with), a karate badass that comes home to Japan to put the country’s drug runners on notice. He states during a press conference (which is held after he stops a band of terrorists on the plane home) that he will guard anyone that has information on the drug trade and will take the bad element out one by one. A mistress (Judy Lee) to a recently dead mob boss takes Chiba up on his offer, which predictably brings the entire hostile criminal element out to try and shut Chiba down. Um, I would categorize that as a “bad idea” but that would be an understatement.

Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Think of this as The Street Fighter, only that it’s made for apparently half the budget and ¾ of the skill missing from that previous effort. Everything about this effort screams haphazard, whether it’s the shaky camerawork (which was refreshing & gritty at first but got old fast for me) or the scene involving American martial artists Aaron Banks and Bill Louie shoehorned in the beginning for Western consumption. Actually, the first third or so makes it seem like a fun movie will follow but it eventually gets bogged down by uninteresting villains and choppy plotting. The action cannot be contained within the standard TV screen and the work suffers because of it. You know its bad when you have to scroll back in order to make sure what really happened in the preceding fight scene! Needless to say, things soon degenerate into the expected mob double crosses and gratuitous kills, not to mention that Chiba’s character grows increasingly dumb in order to make the plot go along. He does all of the old tricks here (hairball raising, bone cracking, etc.) but it’s all for naught if there’s not a half decent wall to throw them at and make them stick. The only thing you can take comfort in is that, at 87 minutes, it’s fairly short. And you’ll still be chanting “VIV-A…CHI-BA! VIV-A…CHI-BA!” regardless how bad it is.

Body Count/Violence: 29. The film retains some of the gory, bone crunching violence that is notable in Chiba films but it’s so poorly filmed here that a lot of it comes off flat. As expected, plenty of kung fu fighting is involved, with much of it consisting of blood spurting and teeth cracking body blows. Some bloody shooting, severed arms & heads (trust me, the latter is pretty funny in an unintentional way), skull splitting, knife & axe play and eye gouging also goes on.

Sexuality/Nudity: The nudity is fairly staked in its 70s roots, as there are no less than five instances of female flesh bared. The oddest one has to be the first, where Chiba’s sister is jumped by hoods and stripped naked and sprawled out on the ground in a Christ-esque pose. The rest is mostly breasts bared, with at least one more full body shot thrown in. (Note: DON’T get the Digiview Entertainment DVD of this film. All of the nudity is ludicrously pixilated out! I know it was only $1 in the Walmart Dollar DVD section but for fuck’s sakes!)

Language/Dialogue: A few F’s, along with some milder obscenities.

How bad was it?:
Even Chiba aficionados have a hard time coming up with good excuses to watch this. Most critics say this is subpar, even by the low standards expected from Chiba’s post-Street Fighter work.

Did it make the studio’s day?:
Nippon-American produced The Bodyguard and it was released in the States by Aquarius Releasing in September 1976. No money figures available.

Film: **/*****
Entertainment value: ***1/2/*****

Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

The Executioner (1974)

The Action Mutant…
charges by the head!


The Executioner (1974)


review by Joe Burrows


Perspective:
You know, despite that the fanboys would most likely disagree with this statement, I have to say that I probably wouldn’t want to meet Quentin Tarantino. Think about it; it’s like when Al Stump met Ty Cobb to write his memoirs and the latter turned out to be a spiteful, racist, sexist, murdering prick. Though Tarantino hasn’t murdered anyone (that I know of), I’d be wary of meeting someone of his likeness because he seems like the “biggest head in the room” (and no, that’s not joking about his oddly shaped cranium). For example, I probably could not be able to tell you what type of film stock the Shaw Bros. used during their glory days or what type of colorization technique brings out the luster of John Wayne’s boots in one of his epics with John Ford. Quentin could…and you either gravitate towards those types of people or are weirded out by them for knowing so goddamn much. One thing’s for certain, though…we certainly have our taste in films.

The Plot, as it was:
Sonny Chiba, Makato Sato and Eiji Go star as three men hired by an ex-police commissioner (Ryo Ikebe) and his adorable niece Emi (Doris Nakajima) to take out a New York drug runner doing business in Japan. Koga (Chiba) is a disciple of a respected ninja clan who will only do the job if he can keep the drug money being smuggled in. Hayabusa (Sato) is a disgraced police officer-turned contract killer that always finishes the job he starts (even if it takes some unexpected turns). Sakura (Go) is a prisoner that Koga breaks out of the can for the job and repays them by being the unending “comic relief”. The question is not whether the three will be able to pull off the job but how many people will die in the process (the answer: a lot!)?

Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
It’s easy to see why QT has called this one of his favorite Sonny Chiba vehicles. It even resembles a Tarantino film, in the sense that there are real “cool customer” type characters that engage in snappy dialogue and end up in their fair share of violent situations. Oddly enough, the film is directed by Teruo Ishii, the man that is usually credited with keeping the Street Fighter trilogy from being completely worthwhile by mucking up The Street Fighter’s Last Revenge (Five words: “My name’s Chiba…Sonny Chiba!”). With his supposed contempt towards films of this ilk, you would think things would suffer. However, he seems to just sit back and let the fur fly here, with the result being the right balance of breezy comedy & violence comparable to the SF series. All three male leads show plenty of charisma in carrying the pic, though Chiba & Sato are given the lion’s share while Go is given the more comic, schemer role. The backstory for the heroes gives the story an added dimension that is very welcome to a genre that doesn’t exactly revel in those details (or originality; there’s at least one scene that’s VERY reminiscent of The Good, The Bad & The Ugly). There are a few downs, as the villains are no great shakes and the plot really doesn’t go past anything more than “Drug pushers are bad…therefore, they must die!” type or reasoning. However, it’s all about elements coming together in instances like this and they come together in a very fun way in The Executioner. Aside from Chiba’s most famous characterization, this film is arguably the best example of prime escapist Chiba fare.

Body Count/Violence: 36. As stated, the carnage here resembles the first two Street Fighter films, with the results being dialed down just a notch or two. Anyone that doubts that the violence is no where near as potent will probably be lulled quiet right after the moment where Koga reaches at a baddies’ chest, cracks a rib and pulls said rib out of the sucker’s bloody chest! The rest of the film consists of cracked skulls, gouged and popped out eyes, cracked ribs and sternums, broken necks, claw ripping, joint dislocation, ear ripping, car chases, stabbings, shootings and other blood spurting goodies.

Sexuality/Nudity: There are about four instances of female nudity, with most being of the breast and backside variety. The scene with the most sexual/fetishistic connotation has to be when the main villain Mario (Masahiko Tsugawa) orders his drug wench to strip to full nudity in front of a party with his sword. Be careful with that thing is all I have to say! And it is an actual sword, you sickos!

Language/Dialogue: There are spotty obscenities of the mild to strong variety.

How bad was it?:
Most Martial Arts critics hold this in favorable standing with Chiba’s strongest films, while more mainstream critics quibble with the exploitive elements that were rife within the decade this came out. A handful said it out and out sucked, which is telling me they have a hard time sitting back because of the stick up their ass.

Did it make the studio’s day?:
Released by Toei Tokyo in Japan on 8/10/74 (about three months before an already completed The Street Fighter would be), The Executioner does not have any budget/box office figures at its apparent disposal. It can be found on DVD or on FliX from time to time.

Film: ***/*****
Entertainment value: ****/*****

Copyright 2008 The Action Mutant.