The Action Mutant…
is Sofa King...beyond that. No, wait. He's not.
DV8
review by Joe Burrows
The Plot, as it was:
Nelson Ricardo is Drake, a hitman living on an island trying escape his past. He falls for a mysterious island beauty named Maya (Eva Neide) and everything seems to be coming up aces for him...until his childhood friend Rizzo (Joe Marino) surfaces. "The Rizz" has a cache of stolen diamonds with him that he's willing to split with Drake, which brings cops, Jamaicans and a kill crazy hitlady named Lysette (Sandrine Le Gallic) all to Drake's neck of the jungle. Three days determines who ends up with the jewels...and who stays alive!
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
In the end credits of DV8, writer Xavier Barquet gives "No thanks" to the initial director of the film Chris Kas and lead Nelson Ricardo. The reasons behind this vote of no confidence are probably more interesting than anything on the screen for DV8's compact 75 minute run time. To be fair, DV8 is one of those middle-of-the-road, post-Pulp Fiction neo-Noirs that starts off with a decent premise. There's some odd (maybe pretentious) touches ("B.C. There/A.D. Miami") that introduce the characters & set up things nicely. Once our principles are known, they develop in mixed fashion as their past is usually brought about in quick flashback mode and doesn't raise them past archetype level. Ricardo is ok as the tortured soul/tough guy but its Le Gallic that has the presence to take the film with what little screen time she has. Her story is the least nurtured and would have been explored in more depth if the feature were any longer. What took me out of the flick was Marino's Rizzo, a cardboard cutout if you ever seen one. Somewhat resembling David Della Rocco's role in The Boondock Saints in tone, it is much like that role in the sense that you either find the character amusing or not. In "The Rizz's" case, his bravado & scenery chewing tend to grate on the nerves and unfortunately, he's probably the writer's favorite character. He shows up intermittently, stealing each scene he's in...and not in a good way. It doesn't help matters when things become more routine as the film moves along to its expectedly bloody conclusion. Despite that and being at a length that barely qualifies as a feature, DV8 moves at a crisp pace and is a quick (and, at times, pretty dirty) example of something genre fans should be very familiar with.
Body Count/Violence: 21. A good amount is done with the film's low funds as we get fights, explosions, bloody gunplay, stabbing, strangling, suffocation via plastic bag and more. The highlight is a torture scene involving a power drill and while not overly graphic, the insinuation puts it over the top on the carnage meter.
Sexuality/Nudity: Drake & Maya engage in the bedroom with some skin being shown there. Le Gallic's Lysette is shown nude in a bathtub with her chest fully visible and two strippers go topless in a club scene. Not up to the lofty standards of the "Erotic Thriller" genre but close.
Language/Dialogue: Fairly strong for a neo-Noir, with quite a few F-words.
How bad was it?:
If there were any reviews, I could tell ya but this is not exactly a widely seen release.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Spectrum Home Video released DV8 on VHS on 10/12/98. It is available on Amazon or you can just watch it here ---> http://www.freemoviescine.com/movies/62-administrator/video/390-DV8.html Just watch out for that sound synching. Yikes.
Film: **1/2/*****
Entertainment value: ***/*****
Copyright 2012 The Action Mutant
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Chinese Hercules
The Action Mutant…
is waiting for "Chinese Hercules" to become someone's MMA nickname.
Chinese Hercules
review by Joe Burrows
The Plot, as it was:
Yeh Fang stars as Lee Hsi, a man running from his past whilst working at a dock. He killed his girlfriend's (Fan Chaing) brother during an argument an has vowed never to raise his hands in anger again. Of course, this is bad timing for the dockworkers as Boss Chan (Liang Tin), the leader of the local crime syndicate, wants the dock closed down and isn't afraid to use sufficient force to get what he wants. With the large shadow of the syndicate and its hulking henchman Chiang Tai (Bolo Yeung) bearing down, Lee must garner to fortitude to fight for his fellow workers & stop the takeover.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Referring to Bolo's moniker while he was Hong Kong's bodybuilding champion, Chinese Hercules is a misnomer if you're looking for this to be the muscleman's movie. While he does steal the flick, it's only during the second half when he finally shows up. Bolo's snappy feats of strength & tough man lines ("We kill 'em...and we dump 'em!") are some welcome fun for a film that wasn't tearing it up until that point. There's quite a bit of exposition that drags things along and what you can hear of it is the dialogue that's not drowned out by the loud, melodramatic score (it also doesn't help that some of the dialogue is recorded very low). The bread and butter of the genre (the fight scenes, choreographed by Jackie Chan no less!) aren't that great until Bolo shows up, where he has many able but small challengers to work off of. From here, the battles get longer & better and Chinese Hercules ends on a high note, which is the least you can ask for from a so-so Fu flick.
Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!:
- Jackie Chan and Yuen Biao are unaccredited as extras. Damned if I could find them, though. Help?
Body Count/Violence: 11. The number would be much lower if it wasn't for Bolo f'ing people up once he surfaces. He supplies some broken limbs and necks during his beatings. Bolo's top moment has to be where he takes a cinderblock and tosses it, knocking a guy off a perch. There's other weapon use as well, such as sticks and barrels.
Sexuality/Nudity: There are two bedroom scenes but nothing is shown.
Language/Dialogue: Not much, just some light stuff.
How bad was it?:
The number of reviews for Chinese Hercules are limited but the one's I caught rate it positively, though nothing special.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Though no money figures are available for it, the film has had a storied release history. It premiered in Hong Kong in March of 1973, then in America (under the National General banner) on 1/2/74. It was also presented by Quentin Tarantino at the Los Angeles Grindhouse Festival on 3/14/07.
Film: **/*****
Entertainment value: ***1/2/*****
Copyright 2012 The Action Mutant
is waiting for "Chinese Hercules" to become someone's MMA nickname.
Chinese Hercules
review by Joe Burrows
The Plot, as it was:
Yeh Fang stars as Lee Hsi, a man running from his past whilst working at a dock. He killed his girlfriend's (Fan Chaing) brother during an argument an has vowed never to raise his hands in anger again. Of course, this is bad timing for the dockworkers as Boss Chan (Liang Tin), the leader of the local crime syndicate, wants the dock closed down and isn't afraid to use sufficient force to get what he wants. With the large shadow of the syndicate and its hulking henchman Chiang Tai (Bolo Yeung) bearing down, Lee must garner to fortitude to fight for his fellow workers & stop the takeover.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Referring to Bolo's moniker while he was Hong Kong's bodybuilding champion, Chinese Hercules is a misnomer if you're looking for this to be the muscleman's movie. While he does steal the flick, it's only during the second half when he finally shows up. Bolo's snappy feats of strength & tough man lines ("We kill 'em...and we dump 'em!") are some welcome fun for a film that wasn't tearing it up until that point. There's quite a bit of exposition that drags things along and what you can hear of it is the dialogue that's not drowned out by the loud, melodramatic score (it also doesn't help that some of the dialogue is recorded very low). The bread and butter of the genre (the fight scenes, choreographed by Jackie Chan no less!) aren't that great until Bolo shows up, where he has many able but small challengers to work off of. From here, the battles get longer & better and Chinese Hercules ends on a high note, which is the least you can ask for from a so-so Fu flick.
Character/Supporting Actor Sighting!:
- Jackie Chan and Yuen Biao are unaccredited as extras. Damned if I could find them, though. Help?
Body Count/Violence: 11. The number would be much lower if it wasn't for Bolo f'ing people up once he surfaces. He supplies some broken limbs and necks during his beatings. Bolo's top moment has to be where he takes a cinderblock and tosses it, knocking a guy off a perch. There's other weapon use as well, such as sticks and barrels.
Sexuality/Nudity: There are two bedroom scenes but nothing is shown.
Language/Dialogue: Not much, just some light stuff.
How bad was it?:
The number of reviews for Chinese Hercules are limited but the one's I caught rate it positively, though nothing special.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Though no money figures are available for it, the film has had a storied release history. It premiered in Hong Kong in March of 1973, then in America (under the National General banner) on 1/2/74. It was also presented by Quentin Tarantino at the Los Angeles Grindhouse Festival on 3/14/07.
Film: **/*****
Entertainment value: ***1/2/*****
Copyright 2012 The Action Mutant
Thursday, March 29, 2012
To Kill With Intrigue
The Action Mutant…
presents "To Nudge With Meh".
To Kill With Intrigue
review by Joe Burrows
The Plot, as it was:
Jackie Chan stars as Siao Lei, a man who scorns his pregnant girlfriend Chin Chin (Yu Ling-Lung) and asks her to leave. Before you mark him as a total douche, he only did so because his family was about to be slaughtered by a gang led by Ting Chan Yen (Hsu Feng) and wanted Chin Chin out of the way. Yen spares Lei, who flees into exile and is pursued by hired killers. In order to gain his girl back and have his revenge, Lei must go through strange channels to obtain it.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
This Lo wei/Jackie Chan collaboration would be another wholly forgettable one in a slate around this time period if not for a few reasons. Not all of them are positive mind you but they do ensure that To Kill With Intrigue isn't boring (unlike some of those aforementioned vehicles). For one thing, to call the plotting "convoluted" would be an insult to the word itself. We're not talking twists on an M. Night Shyamalan level here but there are too many needless ones in a Kung Fu flick that acts as part Martial Arts saga and part soap opera. The main one does reveal the primary villain but it takes more than a few steps to get to that point. The twists also bring about plot holes that could pose for an interesting party game in case you're watching with friends. Try reasoning why Lei tells his girlfriend off instead of just warning her of the eminent danger. Wonder as Lei goes on to befriend his attackers and why a certain one puts him through several tests instead of just helping him out right! Granted, this is a fictional tale but reasonable people normally don't take these steps (or leap through the air like a trampoline is always near by). Thankfully, everyone ditches the confusion about midway through and replaces it with some plentiful fight scenes (even if they require plenty of wire & trampoline work). They're not up to the quality Chan fans are used to these days but they are fun enough to make you forget that you had to watch some perplexing shit in order to get to them.
Body Count/Violence: 23. TKWI brings plenty of weapon use, including swords, knives, axes, staffs, spears, etc. Some stabbing and hand to hand combat bring about bloody results but nothing too excessive. Also, Jackie gets burnt on the face and has to swallow a hot coal instead of just walking over them.
Sexuality/Nudity: Nothing.
Language/Dialogue: Not much at all, if any.
How bad was it?:
Most were on the fence on TKWI, leaning more toward the negative side of things. While critics say it had its merits, the muddled plot, cheap production and tacky fight scenes ultimately tanked any goodwill.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Filmed in South Korea, To Kill With Intrigue started its Hong Kong run on 7/22/77 and ended five days later. It was released to video in America under the Trans World Entertainment label in 1985.
Film: **/*****
Entertainment value: ***/*****
Copyright 2012 The Action Mutant
presents "To Nudge With Meh".
To Kill With Intrigue
review by Joe Burrows
The Plot, as it was:
Jackie Chan stars as Siao Lei, a man who scorns his pregnant girlfriend Chin Chin (Yu Ling-Lung) and asks her to leave. Before you mark him as a total douche, he only did so because his family was about to be slaughtered by a gang led by Ting Chan Yen (Hsu Feng) and wanted Chin Chin out of the way. Yen spares Lei, who flees into exile and is pursued by hired killers. In order to gain his girl back and have his revenge, Lei must go through strange channels to obtain it.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
This Lo wei/Jackie Chan collaboration would be another wholly forgettable one in a slate around this time period if not for a few reasons. Not all of them are positive mind you but they do ensure that To Kill With Intrigue isn't boring (unlike some of those aforementioned vehicles). For one thing, to call the plotting "convoluted" would be an insult to the word itself. We're not talking twists on an M. Night Shyamalan level here but there are too many needless ones in a Kung Fu flick that acts as part Martial Arts saga and part soap opera. The main one does reveal the primary villain but it takes more than a few steps to get to that point. The twists also bring about plot holes that could pose for an interesting party game in case you're watching with friends. Try reasoning why Lei tells his girlfriend off instead of just warning her of the eminent danger. Wonder as Lei goes on to befriend his attackers and why a certain one puts him through several tests instead of just helping him out right! Granted, this is a fictional tale but reasonable people normally don't take these steps (or leap through the air like a trampoline is always near by). Thankfully, everyone ditches the confusion about midway through and replaces it with some plentiful fight scenes (even if they require plenty of wire & trampoline work). They're not up to the quality Chan fans are used to these days but they are fun enough to make you forget that you had to watch some perplexing shit in order to get to them.
Body Count/Violence: 23. TKWI brings plenty of weapon use, including swords, knives, axes, staffs, spears, etc. Some stabbing and hand to hand combat bring about bloody results but nothing too excessive. Also, Jackie gets burnt on the face and has to swallow a hot coal instead of just walking over them.
Sexuality/Nudity: Nothing.
Language/Dialogue: Not much at all, if any.
How bad was it?:
Most were on the fence on TKWI, leaning more toward the negative side of things. While critics say it had its merits, the muddled plot, cheap production and tacky fight scenes ultimately tanked any goodwill.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Filmed in South Korea, To Kill With Intrigue started its Hong Kong run on 7/22/77 and ended five days later. It was released to video in America under the Trans World Entertainment label in 1985.
Film: **/*****
Entertainment value: ***/*****
Copyright 2012 The Action Mutant
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
New Fist of Fury
The Action Mutant…
wonders if its revolution or is it Memorex?
New Fist of Fury
review by Joe Burrows
The Plot, as it was:
Bruce...er, Jackie Chan is Ah Lung, a Chinese pickpocket that is amongst many Chinese living under Japanese rule. After standing up to Japanese Kung Fu school leader Okimura (Chan Sing) and being beaten for it, Lung is befriended by Mao Li Er (Nora Miao) and her family. Despite having stolen from her before, Lung is taken a shine to by Mao as someone that can possibly lead the resistance like her late brother (Bruce Lee in the original). When Okimura's gang causes Mao's grandfather Master Su (Yim Chung) to die of a heart attack (on his feet, no less!), Mao reopens his Kung Fu school to the dismay of Okimura. With the school not towing Okimura's line, the stage is set for a final battle to determine who's school rules. Yeah, its corny but I takes what is given to me.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Sequelitis is something that can be painful and forced, especially when all of the elements from before aren't in the right place. Bruce Lee was long gone when producer Lo Wei cast Jackie Chan is what was basically a retread of Lee's 1972 hit Fist of Fury (aka The Chinese Connection). The result is readily evident when seeing Chan on the screen, as he doesn't display the magma inhaling intensity that Lee was already known for. Chan gives it the old college try and for his part, doesn't out and out ape Bruce's every mannerism. But the few allusions to the original film are clumsily done at best and that's not even what sinks the film outright. You, the viewer, can thank the plotting and characterizations for that glowing distinction. What starts as a continuation of the prejudicial leanings from the first film are really swept aside for the old "save the Kung Fu school" angle and Wei and co writer Lei Pan take their sweet, sweetass time getting to the point. Whatever is mentioned as far as a fight for freedom and basic rights is done through lip service and that message doesn't really ring true, in turn. The villains aren't much better, basically all sporting pencil thin moustaches (one has a by gawd Hitler stache) and cackling about how much better they are than the Chinese. Their representation doesn't really go past that, which make for one dimensional caricatures at best. All of this leads to some decent fight scenes at the end but it can't escape the downer of a climax (which, if you seen the first film, you should know where things are going). At least you have the choice now of whether you want to waste two hours (yes, TWO HOURS!) of your life on this swill after reading this.
Body Count/Violence: 23. Along with the usual Kung Fu brawling, there stabbing, shooting and sword slashing. Some blood is involved with this but not as much as you'd think, which makes me shake my head over the R rating. Then again, most Martial Art film ratings cause me to do that!
Sexuality/Nudity: Nothing.
Language/Dialogue: Very mild profanity. Gotta work in "bastard" a few times, though.
How bad was it?:
IMDB's rating is firmly pitted at 5.0 and the reviews out there seem to reflect that. While rightly admitting its nowhere near as good as its predecessor, most also say that its just good enough to qualify as something of merit. Now THAT'S a ringing endorsement!
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Lo Wei's New Fist of Fury first hit HK theaters on 7/8/76. No money figures are present, which is standard with Kung Fu sagas from this time. It was first released in America on video in 1985.
Film: *1/2/*****
Entertainment value: **/*****
Copyright 2012 The Action Mutant.
wonders if its revolution or is it Memorex?
New Fist of Fury
review by Joe Burrows
The Plot, as it was:
Bruce...er, Jackie Chan is Ah Lung, a Chinese pickpocket that is amongst many Chinese living under Japanese rule. After standing up to Japanese Kung Fu school leader Okimura (Chan Sing) and being beaten for it, Lung is befriended by Mao Li Er (Nora Miao) and her family. Despite having stolen from her before, Lung is taken a shine to by Mao as someone that can possibly lead the resistance like her late brother (Bruce Lee in the original). When Okimura's gang causes Mao's grandfather Master Su (Yim Chung) to die of a heart attack (on his feet, no less!), Mao reopens his Kung Fu school to the dismay of Okimura. With the school not towing Okimura's line, the stage is set for a final battle to determine who's school rules. Yeah, its corny but I takes what is given to me.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
Sequelitis is something that can be painful and forced, especially when all of the elements from before aren't in the right place. Bruce Lee was long gone when producer Lo Wei cast Jackie Chan is what was basically a retread of Lee's 1972 hit Fist of Fury (aka The Chinese Connection). The result is readily evident when seeing Chan on the screen, as he doesn't display the magma inhaling intensity that Lee was already known for. Chan gives it the old college try and for his part, doesn't out and out ape Bruce's every mannerism. But the few allusions to the original film are clumsily done at best and that's not even what sinks the film outright. You, the viewer, can thank the plotting and characterizations for that glowing distinction. What starts as a continuation of the prejudicial leanings from the first film are really swept aside for the old "save the Kung Fu school" angle and Wei and co writer Lei Pan take their sweet, sweetass time getting to the point. Whatever is mentioned as far as a fight for freedom and basic rights is done through lip service and that message doesn't really ring true, in turn. The villains aren't much better, basically all sporting pencil thin moustaches (one has a by gawd Hitler stache) and cackling about how much better they are than the Chinese. Their representation doesn't really go past that, which make for one dimensional caricatures at best. All of this leads to some decent fight scenes at the end but it can't escape the downer of a climax (which, if you seen the first film, you should know where things are going). At least you have the choice now of whether you want to waste two hours (yes, TWO HOURS!) of your life on this swill after reading this.
Body Count/Violence: 23. Along with the usual Kung Fu brawling, there stabbing, shooting and sword slashing. Some blood is involved with this but not as much as you'd think, which makes me shake my head over the R rating. Then again, most Martial Art film ratings cause me to do that!
Sexuality/Nudity: Nothing.
Language/Dialogue: Very mild profanity. Gotta work in "bastard" a few times, though.
How bad was it?:
IMDB's rating is firmly pitted at 5.0 and the reviews out there seem to reflect that. While rightly admitting its nowhere near as good as its predecessor, most also say that its just good enough to qualify as something of merit. Now THAT'S a ringing endorsement!
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Lo Wei's New Fist of Fury first hit HK theaters on 7/8/76. No money figures are present, which is standard with Kung Fu sagas from this time. It was first released in America on video in 1985.
Film: *1/2/*****
Entertainment value: **/*****
Copyright 2012 The Action Mutant.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Shaolin Wooden Men
The Action Mutant…
battles the Pink Elephants in his dreams.
Shaolin Wooden Men
review by Joe Burrows
The Plot, as it was:
Jackie Chan is Tommy (aka "Little Mute"), a mute student among the Shaolin temple wanting to gain revenge for his father's death when he was younger. He gradually learns Kung Fu from a jailed gang leader (Kam Kong) and leaves the Shaolin after beating the "wooden men" (an obstacle course of wooden "Rock 'em, Sock 'em Robots", kinda). Soon, the gang leader escapes his prison and Tommy soon realizes that it may not have been a good idea to entrust his learning to an incarcerated felon.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
This holier than thou entry in Jackie Chan's filmography is not without merit but is also largely unmemorable. Famed (or infamed? or inflamed?) producer Lo Wei casts Chan here as the silent, sullen hero and that plays to Chan's strengths as well as Chuck Norris having to sell pain. Granted, the Chan man does well with what he's given and he plays low key decently but just don't expect anything you will remember the next day. The flick's more dramatic and scaled down to start, with training sequences that are solid but don't really jump off the page. The second half picks up enough steam where its watchable but again nothing out of the ordinary. Maybe it is bias kicking in but the fact that its Jackie Chan starring in a rather conventional period drama may turn some people off. The fights (though choreographed by Chan, Ming Chin and fellow "Third Brother" Yuen Biao) are good but not spectacular and are kept at the normal speed for the time. Simply put, fans of the genre get what is to be expected: a competent entry with a few fun fight scenes near the end. Total Chan fans may be in for a letdown so it's probably fair to call Shaolin Wooden Men somewhere near the middle.
Body Count/Violence: 18. Most are just beaten up real bad and declared dead but there are a few death blows thrown in to clear things up. The most notable death amongst the fighting is Jackie hurling a sword through a baddie's midsection.
Sexuality/Nudity: None.
Language/Dialogue: The occasional obscenity but on an irregular basis.
How bad was it?:
Most genre critics are split down the middle, saying its not the best of its kind but certainly nowhere near the worst. They say its not even close to Chan's best work but its accepted as a vital part of his film history.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Shaolin wooden Men was released in Hong Kong on 11/10/76 and stayed in theaters for a week. It got its first American video release in 1987 and is available under several video companies. Its original source print was lost so video distributors only have to go by a video copy for transfer so view at your own risk.
Film: **/*****
Entertainment value: ***/*****
Copyright 2012 The Action Mutant.
battles the Pink Elephants in his dreams.
Shaolin Wooden Men
review by Joe Burrows
The Plot, as it was:
Jackie Chan is Tommy (aka "Little Mute"), a mute student among the Shaolin temple wanting to gain revenge for his father's death when he was younger. He gradually learns Kung Fu from a jailed gang leader (Kam Kong) and leaves the Shaolin after beating the "wooden men" (an obstacle course of wooden "Rock 'em, Sock 'em Robots", kinda). Soon, the gang leader escapes his prison and Tommy soon realizes that it may not have been a good idea to entrust his learning to an incarcerated felon.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
This holier than thou entry in Jackie Chan's filmography is not without merit but is also largely unmemorable. Famed (or infamed? or inflamed?) producer Lo Wei casts Chan here as the silent, sullen hero and that plays to Chan's strengths as well as Chuck Norris having to sell pain. Granted, the Chan man does well with what he's given and he plays low key decently but just don't expect anything you will remember the next day. The flick's more dramatic and scaled down to start, with training sequences that are solid but don't really jump off the page. The second half picks up enough steam where its watchable but again nothing out of the ordinary. Maybe it is bias kicking in but the fact that its Jackie Chan starring in a rather conventional period drama may turn some people off. The fights (though choreographed by Chan, Ming Chin and fellow "Third Brother" Yuen Biao) are good but not spectacular and are kept at the normal speed for the time. Simply put, fans of the genre get what is to be expected: a competent entry with a few fun fight scenes near the end. Total Chan fans may be in for a letdown so it's probably fair to call Shaolin Wooden Men somewhere near the middle.
Body Count/Violence: 18. Most are just beaten up real bad and declared dead but there are a few death blows thrown in to clear things up. The most notable death amongst the fighting is Jackie hurling a sword through a baddie's midsection.
Sexuality/Nudity: None.
Language/Dialogue: The occasional obscenity but on an irregular basis.
How bad was it?:
Most genre critics are split down the middle, saying its not the best of its kind but certainly nowhere near the worst. They say its not even close to Chan's best work but its accepted as a vital part of his film history.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Shaolin wooden Men was released in Hong Kong on 11/10/76 and stayed in theaters for a week. It got its first American video release in 1987 and is available under several video companies. Its original source print was lost so video distributors only have to go by a video copy for transfer so view at your own risk.
Film: **/*****
Entertainment value: ***/*****
Copyright 2012 The Action Mutant.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
The Fearless Hyena
The Action Mutant…
Rasha Naba Doe-ah Gola Wookiee Nipple Pinchy!
The Fearless Hyena
review by Joe Burrows
The Plot, as it was:
Jackie Chan stars as Shing Lung, a mischievous sort who lives with his grandfather (James Tien) in the Chinese mainland. Shing gains a rep hustling fighters out of their wares for a group of thugs, which gains the attention of The Master (Kun Li) and his gang. When The Master kills Shing's grandfather to settle an old grudge, Shing must master fighting techniques from an old man named The Unicorn (Hui Lou Chen) to gain his revenge...Hyena style!
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
If the above sounded any bit familiar to you, you've already seen Drunken Master or any one of hundreds of Kung Fu flicks over the years. Randy pupil, taciturn father figure, evil bastard with equally evil cohorts, drunken teacher, etc. Of course, more than a few of those have involved Jackie Chan in some way and in some way, they seem fresher when he's in control. Coming off the heels of said DM, this was Chan's first directorial effort and he lets it all hang out in this one. The trademark fights (with such implements as work benches, chopsticks and fake boobs...you'll see), broad humor and childish mugging are all prevalent...even more so with this being his first time in the chair (as well as the awful dubbing; I swore Jackie was dubbed by Stan Laurel when I first heard him). Chan throws everything into the stew and most of it does taste great. There are plenty of ideas that work (the training sequences are just beastly, for example) and some that don't (Jackie's disguises elicit a few chuckles but not out and out hilarity). It's not the controlled frenzy that later Chan efforts would become but its an entertaining curio in in the man's filmography that should be seen by his most fervent fans.
Body Count/Violence: 10. As with most JC favorites, its about the intricacy of the fight as opposed to being death happy. The death takes place by some sword slashing, weapon use and occasionally bloody purple nurpling.
Sexuality/Nudity: Umm...there's that scene where Jackie's in drag but I don't think you're supposed to be turned on by that. Right?
Language/Dialogue: Some mild profanity, including my ever long Kung Fu favorite, "bastard"!
How bad was it?:
Most critics looked at it in a favorable light though it was readily admitted that the film seemed like a slight reworking of Drunken Master more than an original work.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Finally able to helm a film on his own (whilst ending his contract with producer Lo wei), Chan's Fearless Hyena opened in Hong Kong on 2/17/79. It had a three week run at the cinemas and was considered a success in Chan's ever burgeoning career. It had its theatrical run in the West in 1979 and is now on DVD through various video companies. Be careful which transfer you purchase though, as they differ in quality.
Film: ***/*****
Entertainment value: ****/*****
Copyright 2012 The Action Mutant.
Rasha Naba Doe-ah Gola Wookiee Nipple Pinchy!
The Fearless Hyena
review by Joe Burrows
The Plot, as it was:
Jackie Chan stars as Shing Lung, a mischievous sort who lives with his grandfather (James Tien) in the Chinese mainland. Shing gains a rep hustling fighters out of their wares for a group of thugs, which gains the attention of The Master (Kun Li) and his gang. When The Master kills Shing's grandfather to settle an old grudge, Shing must master fighting techniques from an old man named The Unicorn (Hui Lou Chen) to gain his revenge...Hyena style!
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
If the above sounded any bit familiar to you, you've already seen Drunken Master or any one of hundreds of Kung Fu flicks over the years. Randy pupil, taciturn father figure, evil bastard with equally evil cohorts, drunken teacher, etc. Of course, more than a few of those have involved Jackie Chan in some way and in some way, they seem fresher when he's in control. Coming off the heels of said DM, this was Chan's first directorial effort and he lets it all hang out in this one. The trademark fights (with such implements as work benches, chopsticks and fake boobs...you'll see), broad humor and childish mugging are all prevalent...even more so with this being his first time in the chair (as well as the awful dubbing; I swore Jackie was dubbed by Stan Laurel when I first heard him). Chan throws everything into the stew and most of it does taste great. There are plenty of ideas that work (the training sequences are just beastly, for example) and some that don't (Jackie's disguises elicit a few chuckles but not out and out hilarity). It's not the controlled frenzy that later Chan efforts would become but its an entertaining curio in in the man's filmography that should be seen by his most fervent fans.
Body Count/Violence: 10. As with most JC favorites, its about the intricacy of the fight as opposed to being death happy. The death takes place by some sword slashing, weapon use and occasionally bloody purple nurpling.
Sexuality/Nudity: Umm...there's that scene where Jackie's in drag but I don't think you're supposed to be turned on by that. Right?
Language/Dialogue: Some mild profanity, including my ever long Kung Fu favorite, "bastard"!
How bad was it?:
Most critics looked at it in a favorable light though it was readily admitted that the film seemed like a slight reworking of Drunken Master more than an original work.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Finally able to helm a film on his own (whilst ending his contract with producer Lo wei), Chan's Fearless Hyena opened in Hong Kong on 2/17/79. It had a three week run at the cinemas and was considered a success in Chan's ever burgeoning career. It had its theatrical run in the West in 1979 and is now on DVD through various video companies. Be careful which transfer you purchase though, as they differ in quality.
Film: ***/*****
Entertainment value: ****/*****
Copyright 2012 The Action Mutant.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
The Danger Zone (1987)
The Action Mutant…
is not sure if he needs a "wingman" for this one.
The Danger Zone (1987)
review by Joe Burrows
The Plot, as it was:
A sextet of big haired singers known as The Skirts (one played by Suzanne Tara of TAM cult favorite Deadly Prey) get an invitation to head out to Las Vegas and be a part of a TV talent competition. Along the way, their car breaks down in the desert and they stumble onto a dusty ghost town. The former prospecting site has already been claimed by a biker gang led by the demented Reaper (Robert Canada) and the ladies are infringing on their daily lives, including interrupting whippings handed out for insolence & drug deals executed via model plane (!). The Skirts must rely on themselves, and old prospector named Moss (Michael Wayne) and undercover cop Wade Olson (Jason Williams) to get out of...THE DANGER ZONE!...er, this mess. The Danger Zone is said mess.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
From the "I swear this was an A.I.P. release" file comes The Danger Zone, a trash opus in the fine tradition of "biker" cinema. It's fine for a rainy day afternoon (when I first caught it) though you might need some of the mind altering substances the bikers are on to truly enjoy it. Its all meant to be campy fun, with the women having hair teased to the nines & very few ideas and the bikers being slimy beyond reproach. From the gang guiding the ladies through a rattlesnake filled pit to threatening them with all kinds of abuse, this has all the trappings of its low budget genre roots. However, there are more than a few lulls in what little story there is and the budgetary woes stifle it from taking full advantage. The acting is only slightly better, with Canada getting every little bit of juice out of the role of Reaper. Coming off like Lance Henriksen's understudy in Stone Cold, Canada spits & snarls out his lines and seems to relish being the heavy. He's really the only engaging character here as none of the ladies really stand out from the pack and the lot of the bikers are all stereotypical dregs. Unfortunately, TDZ is too boring to sustain for the most part and has far too few intermittent shows of trashy fun to keep one awake to the end.
Body Count/Violence: 6. Aside from a few brawls and someone being lit on fire (in a sleeping bag...now, that's inconsiderate!), not a lot goes on action wise until the last twenty minutes or so. We get the requisite (bloodless) shootout as well as motorcycle rundown and a snake attack! One of the gals sprays hairspray at a snake. Man, snakes get a lot of play in this one.
Sexuality/Nudity: There's a scene where the gals come upon a stream, which allows them to strip to their underwear and frolic about. This is all shot in glorious slow-mo, which means the director should get a Nobel Prize for being the smartest person alive or something. One of the biker girls flashes her tits and one of the heroines has her shirt ripped open. Seriously though, that stream scene will make some 13 year old boy's day.
Language/Dialogue: A few F words and other surly biker talk (is biker talk anything other than "surly").
How bad was it?:
Not many reviews are out there about The Danger Zone but what little fan feedback there is on IMDB is mixed at best. You either accept it as exploitive fun or not.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Filmed in and around Las Vegas, The Danger Zone was released straight to VHS by Charter Entertainment on 10/26/88. Obviously, the low production values helped as three sequels were made afterwards with Williams reprising his role and the epically named Robert Random taking the reigns of Reaper.
Film: **/*****
Entertainment value: ***/*****
Copyright 2012 The Action Mutant.
is not sure if he needs a "wingman" for this one.
The Danger Zone (1987)
review by Joe Burrows
The Plot, as it was:
A sextet of big haired singers known as The Skirts (one played by Suzanne Tara of TAM cult favorite Deadly Prey) get an invitation to head out to Las Vegas and be a part of a TV talent competition. Along the way, their car breaks down in the desert and they stumble onto a dusty ghost town. The former prospecting site has already been claimed by a biker gang led by the demented Reaper (Robert Canada) and the ladies are infringing on their daily lives, including interrupting whippings handed out for insolence & drug deals executed via model plane (!). The Skirts must rely on themselves, and old prospector named Moss (Michael Wayne) and undercover cop Wade Olson (Jason Williams) to get out of...THE DANGER ZONE!...er, this mess. The Danger Zone is said mess.
Don’t shoot me…I’m only the reviewer!:
From the "I swear this was an A.I.P. release" file comes The Danger Zone, a trash opus in the fine tradition of "biker" cinema. It's fine for a rainy day afternoon (when I first caught it) though you might need some of the mind altering substances the bikers are on to truly enjoy it. Its all meant to be campy fun, with the women having hair teased to the nines & very few ideas and the bikers being slimy beyond reproach. From the gang guiding the ladies through a rattlesnake filled pit to threatening them with all kinds of abuse, this has all the trappings of its low budget genre roots. However, there are more than a few lulls in what little story there is and the budgetary woes stifle it from taking full advantage. The acting is only slightly better, with Canada getting every little bit of juice out of the role of Reaper. Coming off like Lance Henriksen's understudy in Stone Cold, Canada spits & snarls out his lines and seems to relish being the heavy. He's really the only engaging character here as none of the ladies really stand out from the pack and the lot of the bikers are all stereotypical dregs. Unfortunately, TDZ is too boring to sustain for the most part and has far too few intermittent shows of trashy fun to keep one awake to the end.
Body Count/Violence: 6. Aside from a few brawls and someone being lit on fire (in a sleeping bag...now, that's inconsiderate!), not a lot goes on action wise until the last twenty minutes or so. We get the requisite (bloodless) shootout as well as motorcycle rundown and a snake attack! One of the gals sprays hairspray at a snake. Man, snakes get a lot of play in this one.
Sexuality/Nudity: There's a scene where the gals come upon a stream, which allows them to strip to their underwear and frolic about. This is all shot in glorious slow-mo, which means the director should get a Nobel Prize for being the smartest person alive or something. One of the biker girls flashes her tits and one of the heroines has her shirt ripped open. Seriously though, that stream scene will make some 13 year old boy's day.
Language/Dialogue: A few F words and other surly biker talk (is biker talk anything other than "surly").
How bad was it?:
Not many reviews are out there about The Danger Zone but what little fan feedback there is on IMDB is mixed at best. You either accept it as exploitive fun or not.
Did it make the studio’s day?:
Filmed in and around Las Vegas, The Danger Zone was released straight to VHS by Charter Entertainment on 10/26/88. Obviously, the low production values helped as three sequels were made afterwards with Williams reprising his role and the epically named Robert Random taking the reigns of Reaper.
Film: **/*****
Entertainment value: ***/*****
Copyright 2012 The Action Mutant.
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